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How much visiting is too much??

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    #1

    How much visiting is too much??

    My boyfriend left to college only 23 days ago. We had planned a visit for the middle of October but luckily something came up randomly and I was able to get a ride with someone up to his college to visit him this past weekend.
    It was so amazing and felt like nothing had changed and when everyone says "when you see them again it's all worth it" is so true.
    I really want to go up again in two weeks but he told me we should just wait for the original plan for the middle of October.
    I'm totally okay with giving him his space if he needs it. I understand that it could be hard to have someone constantly coming up.
    For me I just don't see why we wouldn't take the trip if I was able to come up.
    I just really need to know if it's better to have longer waiting times in between our visit, or if visiting too much is bad for the long distance relationship
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    #2
    It varies from relationship to relationship, and even then it just depends on circumstances. Visiting as often as you can is ideal, but it all depends on what works best for your relationship and your lives outside of it. Play it by ear, and talk to your s/o about what he thinks would be a decent amount of visits. The idea is to eventually close the distance, so I don't think there really is such thing as too many visits from an emotional stand point. It really just depends on what's practical.

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      #3
      I agree with Harlequin.
      No such thing as too many visits, but you also have to think practically. My guy would be up here everyday if he could, but I have to remind him it's not practical for him financially. An hour and a half trip for him to work every morning isn't worth the gas money when he could stay home and only have a 10 minute drive- especially when we're both trying to save money to eventually close the distance and move in together.

      He's probably trying to be practical.
      "We are beings attracted to the essence of hope, and life is the all encompassing hope that everything can change; that everything can be better."

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        #4
        I agree with the other two posters.

        The other thing to remember is that he is in college. He needs to be able to focus on his classes, his work and other activities. Though it's nice that you can visit pretty often, he's trying to establish himself there and he needs the time to do that.
        To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

        ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

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          #5
          There is no general rules here.

          My only worry is that if you visit a lot - and it is always you going to him- you loose out on establishing your own life, whatever you are doing back home.
          I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
          - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



          "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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            #6
            Originally posted by R&R View Post
            I agree with the other two posters.

            The other thing to remember is that he is in college. He needs to be able to focus on his classes, his work and other activities. Though it's nice that you can visit pretty often, he's trying to establish himself there and he needs the time to do that.
            well said R&R

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