Host or Friend

[Elisabeth]

In a couple of weeks, the guy I've been flirting with will be visiting me for a couple of weeks. It'll be our first time meeting in person, so to some degree we're still strangers. I feel like I should still be a good host and treat him like I would any guest to my home. However, our current relationship is more akin to that of close friends, and I tend to be more casual when my friends visit. Also, hosting expectations are slightly different in his culture than mine, and it would make me look bad if he felt guilty that I was giving up too much on his behalf. To be specific, he has expressed some concern over me footing the entire grocery bill during his visit and doing all the cooking. Also, we're both interested in showing a level of physical affection that would be inappropriate for a host/guest relationship.

We've discussed keeping up formalities for at least the first few days as a sort of middle road, but then I'm not sure at what point it would be appropriate to change the nature of the relationship from that of host/guest to close friends. It seems strange to me to put an arbitrary length of time on something like the role of a model host.

Should I still take the role and responsibilities of a good American host when he comes to visit, or would it be alright to just treat him like a good friend? I would like to impress him and show off my skills as a host a little, but it really feels too stiff and formal for the current nature of our relationship.

[sasad]

Do what feels right and natural.. . Tell him you would love to show off your cooking skills too..

[Elisabeth]

I'm definitely planning on cooking either way and trying to get a whole menu made up. Plus hosting a dinner party for some friends with a three course meal.

The difficult part is that the right (read: most socially appropriate) decision would be to regard him as a guest, but the more natural decision is to welcome him as a friend. Winging it feels like an unwise decision.

[Rezie]

I think that you shouild treat him like a friend. He is there to visit you and experience the country. You should suggest a few things that you would think would be cool to see and ask him if there is something special in him mind that he would like to do. I'm sure after a few days you can relax and the interaction becomes more natural and you don't even have to think about it as hosting.