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    First visit nerves

    Hey everyone first time posting but here it goes,
    My SO and I starting dating back in late October last year after meeting online through Final Fantasy XIV. After a month or so we made plans for me to fly out to her in between my work term ending and summer classes starting up so the ticket was bought and I'm scedualed to leave on Saturday to fly to the US to see her for a week. Everything has been going great between us and it has been fun planning what we'll do once we're together.
    The only thing is these last couple days I've barely heard anything from her in the last couple days. She hasn't been looking/responding to any of the messages that I've sent her and she's been pretty much offline for the past couple days. I'm not really sure how to think/feel about this but it's just getting worse with the anxiety of our first visit building since it's getting so close.
    Any adive given would be greatly appreciated.

    #2
    Originally posted by Mamuttusk View Post
    Hey everyone first time posting but here it goes,
    My SO and I starting dating back in late October last year after meeting online through Final Fantasy XIV. After a month or so we made plans for me to fly out to her in between my work term ending and summer classes starting up so the ticket was bought and I'm scedualed to leave on Saturday to fly to the US to see her for a week. Everything has been going great between us and it has been fun planning what we'll do once we're together.
    The only thing is these last couple days I've barely heard anything from her in the last couple days. She hasn't been looking/responding to any of the messages that I've sent her and she's been pretty much offline for the past couple days. I'm not really sure how to think/feel about this but it's just getting worse with the anxiety of our first visit building since it's getting so close.
    Any adive given would be greatly appreciated.
    Hi Mamuttusk,

    Welcome to LFAD. If you search through the boards, you will actually find this is a pretty common theme. Closer to visits people may talk less, fight a little bit and be additionally stressed. This isn't always just for the first visit either. So please know that you aren't alone in this scenario.

    Since this is your first visit, she is probably a little nervous too. She's going to want everything to be perfect and may be worried that everything isn't just so. She is the only one who can really tell you why she hasn't been around.

    Any time I have done a first time visit, I always have a Plan B ready to go. This means I have checked out hotels nearby in case I need to end up staying someplace else. I make sure that I know what kind of transportation is around. I look for things to do in the area as well as places to eat. It's better to have a backup plan ready to go and not need it than find out you need it and aren't prepared.
    To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

    ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

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      #3
      Okay so quick follow up concerning what you said.
      If she does not contact me before I leave should I still go? Right now I'm not sure if she's looking at what I'm sending her, is it worth the risk to visit if she continues to be silent?

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        #4
        Ultimately, that's your choice to make, in my opinion. But, if I were you, I would go, because it's already booked and you'll always wonder what might have happened if you went. But, have a backup plan like R&R said, and don't go with high expectations. At least if you go, you'll be able to sit down and talk things out face to face; or, if she doesn't meet up with you, you'll know where things stand. So, I would say go and see what happens, but at the end of the day, it's your life. Like R &R said, this seems to be a common occurrence. I know from my experience that my SO and I argued more in the time leading up to our first meeting, and several times I wondered if it was really worth it to go, but we ended up having an awesome time in person and never argued at all. Good luck!
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