Just finished first visit and reflecting. Does it get easier?

[mochabeans]

I came home and there's still dirty dishes in the kitchen from dinner and everything. I sent him home with a copy of one of my favorite books (The Fox Woman, I kept two), and I wish I'd thought to ask for something like that early on. Did laundry and I could still smell his shampoo on the towels.

I was pretty cynical about long-distance relationships when he first brought up it in March (I've been on this site before... that one was a disaster). We were good friends through our circle of MMO buddies, so I agreed and we started planning a visit a month or so later. I thought meeting him would be the hard part due to me being a rather shy person, and that saying goodbye would be the easy part.

I was expecting our first meeting to be awkward, for us to be completely different in person, maybe even for us to realize we couldn't work out. Within 10-15 minutes he felt like the exact same person. Same dorky laugh and everything.

Leaving was the hardest part by far. We cried and hugged each other an hour before he left and I had to fight it down again until I was actually home. How long does it take before things feel like they go "back to normal"?

[erwin1973]

Well, I can tell you that it will get back to normal, or at least something like that. But how long it takes before it is 'back to normal', that depends on yourself. Your personality, your inner strength. Of course things have changed since you have met and the taste of being together stays. But yes, things will settle down, eventually.

[R&R]

The first visit was the hardest for me. Now, 3 1/2 years in, the "see you next trips" are very easy for me. My SO lives 15-16 hours away from me. On the way home, I always stay with one of my best friends. This gives me something to focus on and look forward to on the way home instead of dwelling on leaving him. When he visits here, I always have something planned for after he leaves. Again, it's something to focus on.

Part of it is going to be your perspective. There are few places where I live that he hasn't been - even my work! So I can look at those dishes in the sink or smell his scent on the pillow and get upset or I can smile because we've made more memories together and have so much more to look forward to.