I have someone I get it on with. There's not much more to the relationship, but the chemistry is just there. There's a possibility for more but he now lives far far away. Our relationship is so so casual and fun right now. I haven't seen him in 5 years and havef just reconnected online. I'm going through a gigantic thing right now and it is so so hard to not try to lean on him. I haven't seen him in forever. I am doing stupid desperate things I don't normally do this early in a relationship. How do you take things slow really slow over a long distance without going crazy? Like we aren't even close to exclusive and I'm used to going fast in relationships. It feels so weird that a simple casual hang out is planned out months in advance. How do I not obsess over everything he's doing and over the possibilities of our relationship?
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Sorry to say, but what you are describing is not a fuck buddy. A fuck buddy is somebody that you fuck and then move the hell on. If you are obsessing about someone, you are not a good candidate to be a fuck buddy. You need to fuck and be able to go home and not obsess about him.Originally posted by Shoedrop View Post
You need to be honest with him about what is going on with you. It is not fair to present yourself as a fuck buddy when it sounds like you really want a relationship. -
Fuck buddies are not exclusive, and it is not a "relationship". A fuck buddy is someone you have sex with, but dont long for, it is a conventient arrangement with someone close.
If you long for someone you know from the past, are willing to travel to see them, wonder about taking things too slow/fast, talking about leaning for him for support on things you go through, and wonder about "everything they are doing" and the "possibilities", you are smitten with them.
It is not nice towards your self or him to pretend that you want someone to sleep with casually when you think of him as someone to lean on. Be honest that you see more in him, or leave before people get hurt.I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
- Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"
"Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visitsComment
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So thanks for the input. I've realized something. There is a mild friendship there. I've known him for 9.5 years. I have leaned on him in the past as a mild friendship. We hung out as friends after I left my abusive ex 5 years ago. One thing led to another and... stuff happened. We hung out a few more times. More stuff happened. When we are together he looks at me just so. Holds me just right. I look at him the same way.
A short time later he moved far away to pursue his dreams and I settled into a lengthy and horrific custody battle. I got married during that time out of desperation to a good friend that after 4.5 years its very clear we are not compedible romantically. But we now share kids and are still very good best friends. So ya you could say my life is so complicated right now. I don't want to be exclusive for a few years. I've been exclusive for a long time and need sooner space. I want to escape reality for a weekend and come back.
I asked him about his intentions. He said he doesn't want to get involved with my life but thinks me seperate from my issues, I'm amazing. I get it. I have so much drama in my life that I don't want to deal with it myself. I don't blame him. If I understood that there was no chance at a relationship he would love to have me come visit
So right now what I want is a fun weekend where I know the attraction is there and I can detatch from the crazy that is my life and I can trust him to not trigger my sexual ptsd from my first ex. And that is what he's offering.
I might get too attached. He knows that, but is ok with that as long as I am not expecting things to go anywhere. Which I am not. The stress of an unrelated issue made me go a little wacko for a bit. I am not desperate for him anymore.
I'm probably stupid for going anyways. But ya I could us the trip even knowing that's all it is going to be.Comment
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