How was your first meeting?

[Reyhoney]

I've been talking to my SO for about 6 months now, we haven't met yet although we want to before the year ends. Is there a chance our online chemistry (text, calls, video) wouldn't translate into real life chemistry?

I keep trying to picture it, that very first meeting and I wanted to hear about your stories! Where did you meet, what did you first see, feel, think? How was that first day spent?

I love story telling so feel free to get lengthy!

[erwin1973]

My second relationship started in 2002, and was with a Ukrainian lady - my ex and the mother of my son.

We met first after writing for about 8 months - by regular mail, that is. In Kiev, in a hotel. I was so stupid to book a two-bed (two single beds) bedroom, because she actually wanted her own room. Nothing happened, though.

She didn't know what to show me, so in 3 days time we visited 5 musea and did some sightseeing. We parted in love. Sadly, that story is ended now in a bunch of fights and a devorce, 3 years ago. But the first meeting was great, but short.

[ThePhoenixRises]

Ooooh I love first meeting stories!

We had been talking for 6 months before our first meeting. He came to me (Europe to Australia - long flight). Let me tell you - standing in that arrivals lounge at the airport was one of the most nervewracking times of my life! I could see on the board that his flight had landed, and I was staring at the two exits out of the customs. Now, we had obviously seen each other on cam and in pics but I was still a little nervous that I wouldn't recognise him, or that he wouldn't recognise me...because seeing someone on a cam - you don't get the full picture really.

There were so many people in the arrivals section, it was loud, there were people with 'welcome home' balloons, people with flowers, families everywhere, it was a mess because it was a time that many flights arrive. I looked over to my left and saw him walking out of the customs hall, into the arrivals part and I knew it was him immediately. As soon as I saw him, it felt like everything went into slow motion...suddenly all the noise, the people, everything around me just disappeared. He recognised me too and came directly to me and hugged me - let me tell you - that was the best hug that I have ever had. It felt perfect and so right...I am not sure how long we stayed like this, but then he kissed me and soon I realised that 20mins had passed. Everything just disappeared, it was surreal.

I had arranged for a driver to take us to the hotel because I didn't trust myself driving through the city - which I am glad about my decision because I was so distracted by him, I would not have been able to concentrate. And the rest they say, is history.

I guess it is hard to know if the chemistry is or isn't there until you actually meet - but in my opinion - as soon as you meet - you will know it right away. He just smelled good - I can't explain it. We just clicked.

The first day we spent just walking around the city, me showing him some of the sights, having a long and late breakfast, and we talked for hours. We sat in a cafe with a glass of wine and talked for so long, we looked and we had been sitting there for 3 hours. The time just went so quickly.

Now, after many more visits to each other - I still get the butterflies when I arrive in his country and see him waiting, and I still get the butterflies if I am waiting for him at the arrivals lounge here. The first hug is always amazing and it always feels that no time has passed once he is back with me again.

There is always a chance that online chemistry won't translate to real life - I think there are some people who have written on this board about this. It is impossible to know - so I say go for it - find out and see what happens! At least with the online stuff - you have had a lot of time to talk, and really get to know the person at the other end - and I think that is an advantage for those of us who began in long-distance relationships. Good luck!

[Reyhoney]

That was seriously so enjoyable to read! Thank you so much! I really keep wondering if him and I would hug!? I don't know why it seems strange now to think about hugging someone I've never met!

[Reyhoney]

Oh writing! I can't even imagine, that must have been difficult! I'm sorry it ended in divorce, it still doesn't undo the beautiful moments.

[erwin1973]

Oh writing! I can't even imagine, that must have been difficult! I'm sorry it ended in divorce, it still doesn't undo the beautiful moments.

True, it doesn't undo the good moments. Yeah, she didn't have a computer and I didn't even have internet back then. Can you imagine? One month waiting for a reply after you sent a letter... That was something. I'm happy with Evelyn and me (whom I am dating for just over a year now) the communication goes a lot quicker. Tnx.

[Reyhoney]

Anyone else has any other stories to share?

[Missy Meow]

First meeting stories always give me a vicarious joy!

In March, I met my SO for the first time only 3 weeks after I met him online, and we planned the impromptu trip last minute so we had less than three days to get ready for it. In hindsight, meeting so soon seemed very rushed, silly, and perhaps even dangerous. But when it was actually happening, all I wanted was a weekend away from my mundane life, so all I was thinking of was meeting this handsome new friend of mine. I had the biggest most irrational fear that he would not like me in person; I knew we liked each other, but the idea of meeting in person was terrifying to say the least. He insisted that we should meet as soon as possible to find out "whether or not it's real", and I had the worst feelings in my gut about what would happen if it "wasn't", because I actually liked talking and gaming with this guy and had been reading too much into the first meeting horror stories. I was even scared that we wouldn't recognize each other's faces, or that I wouldn't be pretty enough for him in person because I'm a bit chubby. We were meeting as friends, but we both knew that this was going to determine whether or not we stayed friends.

In my head, I had planned out exactly how I was going to meet him for the first time. Everything from what I was going to say, to what lipstick I was going to wear, to my favourite coat matching my favourite UGGS, whether or not to hug or just to talk, etc. was meticulously planned down to the last detail. I waited for almost an hour at the airport and took at least five bathroom breaks because he was being interrogated at Customs, about his relationship with me nonetheless. ...And then, he came out of the Arrivals gate looking flustered and walked right past me and didn't notice me at all. Naturally I totally forgot what I was going to do, and all the meticulous planning went out the window. I mini-panicked and ran up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder and he turned around and saw me and absolutely looked like a deer in the headlights. We shared an awkward pat-on-the-back hug, and then I got the verbal runs and couldn't stop insulting him and couldn't stop talking about everything that came to my mind. It was so awkward that people were staring at us like we were total weirdos. To make matters worse, I got lost us both lost leading him out of the terminal, and I was holding onto his arm because my legs turned into jelly due to nervousness. I thought he would think that I'm an airhead or even worse, a rude airhead. He was able to see past my weirdness and clumsiness, and after a few hours it became as natural as talking over Skype was, just better because it was in person and I couldn't stop touching his face to make sure he was real.

The rest of the weekend wasn't an ideal weekend: it was the coldest weekend of the year with temperatures being around -20C all weekend so we couldn't go see any sights, his original hotel would not let him check in because he didn't have a credit card for the deposit and we spent hours contacting Expedia for new accommodations, we almost froze to death waiting for food out of a food truck, and I was a bumbling crying mess on the day he was leaving. He didn't complain even once; same cannot be said about me and he had even myself wondering what he saw in me.

I thought he would have thought that it was all a disaster, but now we've been together for just over 6 months, and have been working to close the distance for about 4 of those months. So even if your first meeting isn't a fairy tale one, (mine was two shakes short of a train wreck), it may still work out! When you do see/hug them for the first time, you'll know!

[C.C.]

We broke up half a year before meeting up. A month before, we decided to go through the planned visit, despite everything. Because we needed closure at least and tickets were non-refundable anyway. But the visit was planned for 10 days, which would be just cruel to go through with in our situation so he changed one ticket and we had a 3 days long visit.

It didn't help that I was hiding it from my mother and pretended to be seeing some friends and told her only later. Didn't help that I couldn't stay with him at night because well, my parents are too conservative and I'd have to come up with a super special alibi with some proof to make it happen. It was also unlucky because it coincided with a heatwave over here, but I dunno. I feel like my whole summer was a heatwave


But regardless, the meeting was awesome, the trip wasn't anything special itself, obviously, but seeing him finally felt so so precious. And we clicked so well too. There were some small habits that I didn't get, mostly cultural, though. Also, I felt like I am more introvert than him, a Finn. And I didn't like the smell of his sunscreen. Small stuff like that

But, hanging out with him irl, being close to him and cuddling felt like the rightest things in my life. I was always afraid that I wouldn't feel the same with him as I did online. But I felt exactly the same irl, with the additional bonus of being able to touch and interact :3 Like, I saw him and my mind went "oh this is how it feels to meet someone you have only felt for online, it makes sense". The feelings found a better way out of my mind too and I felt the strongest that I actually wanted to be with him.

As for the visit itself. We didn't do much considering the length. I just hang out over at the place he was renting first day. He was tired too because he had to do the night flight, we exchanged gifts that day. He bought a reindeer antler necklace for me, it felt so good because it was spot on in terms of what I liked and the meaning was super right too, also an album he was supposed to (as in had said he would) gift me before we broke up. I gave him the drawings I had done for him throughout our past and that he had only seen digitally. We also played a card game I had borrowed from my friend. I lost miserably
Then we went out to see a movie next day. Watching movie was awesome because I could finally do it in real life and actually be close physically. It was our first real date basically. Dating him is fun! We saw Atomic Blond, btw, it was a good movie and lots of fun too.
We went to amusement park the last day. I introduced him to one of my super close friends too! That day was both special and sad, because I knew he was leaving that night. I was with him up until he left for airport, because I couldn't simply hang out with him till that late (actual flight) because of my family/cultural situation.

After the visit, I said screw it and went to buy the tickets for the next visit. (I am going over in Finland during holiday season if everything goes well) I saw those tickets a couple of days before the visit, they were super cheap. I was afraid they'd get more pricey, and I still feel like I made the right decision because it'd be impossible to get the tickets like that if I waited too long and it's sort of a calculated risk. But I was and am sure that I want to have a proper meeting with him. I am not sure if we are in a relationship even now, well we aren't officially. But I don't know, things are different, weird and complicated. I'd need a huge wall of text to describe it. But we are going to meet unless my parents physically stop me or kick me out of the house, which I wouldn't even be surprised about We still love each other too. And I am sure the second visit will be way more exciting and I am totally going to write a post about it when it happens!

[autumn1790]

We broke up half a year before meeting up. A month before, we decided to go through the planned visit, despite everything. Because we needed closure at least and tickets were non-refundable anyway. But the visit was planned for 10 days, which would be just cruel to go through with in our situation so he changed one ticket and we had a 3 days long visit.

It didn't help that I was hiding it from my mother and pretended to be seeing some friends and told her only later. Didn't help that I couldn't stay with him at night because well, my parents are too conservative and I'd have to come up with a super special alibi with some proof to make it happen. It was also unlucky because it coincided with a heatwave over here, but I dunno. I feel like my whole summer was a heatwave


But regardless, the meeting was awesome, the trip wasn't anything special itself, obviously, but seeing him finally felt so so precious. And we clicked so well too. There were some small habits that I didn't get, mostly cultural, though. Also, I felt like I am more introvert than him, a Finn. And I didn't like the smell of his sunscreen. Small stuff like that

But, hanging out with him irl, being close to him and cuddling felt like the rightest things in my life. I was always afraid that I wouldn't feel the same with him as I did online. But I felt exactly the same irl, with the additional bonus of being able to touch and interact :3 Like, I saw him and my mind went "oh this is how it feels to meet someone you have only felt for online, it makes sense". The feelings found a better way out of my mind too and I felt the strongest that I actually wanted to be with him.

As for the visit itself. We didn't do much considering the length. I just hang out over at the place he was renting first day. He was tired too because he had to do the night flight, we exchanged gifts that day. He bought a reindeer antler necklace for me, it felt so good because it was spot on in terms of what I liked and the meaning was super right too, also an album he was supposed to (as in had said he would) gift me before we broke up. I gave him the drawings I had done for him throughout our past and that he had only seen digitally. We also played a card game I had borrowed from my friend. I lost miserably
Then we went out to see a movie next day. Watching movie was awesome because I could finally do it in real life and actually be close physically. It was our first real date basically. Dating him is fun! We saw Atomic Blond, btw, it was a good movie and lots of fun too.
We went to amusement park the last day. I introduced him to one of my super close friends too! That day was both special and sad, because I knew he was leaving that night. I was with him up until he left for airport, because I couldn't simply hang out with him till that late (actual flight) because of my family/cultural situation.

After the visit, I said screw it and went to buy the tickets for the next visit. (I am going over in Finland during holiday season if everything goes well) I saw those tickets a couple of days before the visit, they were super cheap. I was afraid they'd get more pricey, and I still feel like I made the right decision because it'd be impossible to get the tickets like that if I waited too long and it's sort of a calculated risk. But I was and am sure that I want to have a proper meeting with him. I am not sure if we are in a relationship even now, well we aren't officially. But I don't know, things are different, weird and complicated. I'd need a huge wall of text to describe it. But we are going to meet unless my parents physically stop me or kick me out of the house, which I wouldn't even be surprised about We still love each other too. And I am sure the second visit will be way more exciting and I am totally going to write a post about it when it happens!

Thanks for sharing your story, C.C.! I had no idea it was this interesting!

[Reyhoney]

C.C oh hun what a roller coaster of emotions! I wish he would have stayed the whole 10 days, but even 3 days were more than enough to show the both of you that this is worth having and keeping.

I know Finns can be so shy and closed off until you get a few beers in them! I think your trip there will be much better cause it’ll give you the space and time you need. I hope your parents will understand, they’ll just have to. I’m sure they’ll forgive whatever you do that they don’t agree with.

Hope your trip goes great and thank you for sharing!

[AshleyJ]

I recently just went to go meet my boyfriend. (warning this is going to be lengthy before it gets to the actual meeting and visit)

You can say him and I have had a bit of a history together though. We both met each other a few/several years ago on a writing forum. We met in the chatbox at first and usually we would just argue about hockey teams in a friendly banter. I remember then that I had liked the guy a bit. I usually get a good feeling on whether I'll end up dating a person or not. I'm not sure why that is, but in my gut I just always know.

Him and I ended up writing more and more together, which only made use share skype usernames to converse on there instead. Him and I became really good friends at that point and he was always there for me to talk to. I talked to him a bit as he went through grieving the break up with his girlfriend he had a bit ago. At the time I was in a relationship, but I wasn't always too happy. I was a huge secret in the guys life. He didn't tell his family or anyone in his life about me and we dated for three years almost four. He was all about himself and my feelings were rarely taken into account. I acted a certain way because I felt I had to for him. At this point my current boyfriend had listened to all my rants, all of my upset conversations. He was really there for me through it all. He gave me the courage I needed to finally break things off with the other guy. He was there for the fall out too.

After several months, him and I confessed our feelings for one another. We just continued to flirt a bit and eventually him and I became official. This was a year ago. We dated for about seven months and then he ended up breaking up with me. It happened around the end of December. It was a hard time for me. Likely for him too. I was in a very dark place for a bit until I had to go back to school and I had to crack down on my studies. I focused on my schooling, friends, and fitness in that time. Finally after I finished school, him and I mentioned we still had feelings for each other and we'd like to be something again.

My boyfriend and I, have really strong personalities and values that sometimes clash with each other, and it's been tough to navigate, but we've been learning and communicating so much better than we ever had. We've been starting to understand each other. We had a small rough patch, but for a good chunk of time now we've been great! So we decided to book a trip again.

So here comes the first meeting story (sorry for the huge lead up.)

We purchased the tickets in the summer. I would be flying from Vancouver, British Columbia to Boston, Massachusetts. It was my first time flying ever and my first time being in the United States. I was a nervous train wreck. I was so close to breaking down in the airport so many times. (Word of advice. Overnight flights. Don't do them unless you have to.)

So being a newbie to flying, I had an interesting time in Logan International Airport. Instead of being in the lounge where you're supposed to wait for people picking you up. I ended up back over on the departure side and so I made finding me a lot more complicated, but it was his first time picking someone up in the airport anyways. Haha. We were both fairly nervous leading up to the event. The anticipation of trying to find each other too only made it build up.

I remember him sending me a message asking if I was nervous. I replied with yes and he said he was too. It really is a weird concept to think about hugging someone you've never met before. Especially for a person like me. I don't usually cross into people's boundaries that often, I don't get in their space, so it was hard to imagine.

However, the moment I saw him and knew it was him, you really do get that feeling where you don't notice anyone or anything else because once I saw him that was it, I picked up my bag and ran the short little distance and I literally threw my bag on the ground and I hugged him. I was so overwhelmed from lack of sleep and stressful time I had in the airport that, that was what I needed.

After that, there was a small bit of awkwardness while we drove to his place, but it shortly just felt normal and natural. We both agreed that we just felt comfortable and when i was there for about ten days. It felt as if we had been living together for months. We spent a lot of time just sitting around and watching shows, playing games, and cuddling. We did go out and do stuff. We had quite a few dates. Ended up walking around downtown at night, it was beautiful, but my paranoia kicked in as it usually does.

I've been home for a couple weeks now, and I miss him a lot. We want to close the distance eventually, but he still has to come see where I live as it was what we decided on. It is hard to go from having them around and being able to hug them, kiss them, and what not. To not having them around. There is not a day I regret meeting him. I love him with all my heart. With everything I have. We are both willing to do what we need to, to close the distance.

[Reyhoney]

I recently just went to go meet my boyfriend. (warning this is going to be lengthy before it gets to the actual meeting and visit)

You can say him and I have had a bit of a history together though. We both met each other a few/several years ago on a writing forum. We met in the chatbox at first and usually we would just argue about hockey teams in a friendly banter. I remember then that I had liked the guy a bit. I usually get a good feeling on whether I'll end up dating a person or not. I'm not sure why that is, but in my gut I just always know.

Him and I ended up writing more and more together, which only made use share skype usernames to converse on there instead. Him and I became really good friends at that point and he was always there for me to talk to. I talked to him a bit as he went through grieving the break up with his girlfriend he had a bit ago. At the time I was in a relationship, but I wasn't always too happy. I was a huge secret in the guys life. He didn't tell his family or anyone in his life about me and we dated for three years almost four. He was all about himself and my feelings were rarely taken into account. I acted a certain way because I felt I had to for him. At this point my current boyfriend had listened to all my rants, all of my upset conversations. He was really there for me through it all. He gave me the courage I needed to finally break things off with the other guy. He was there for the fall out too.

After several months, him and I confessed our feelings for one another. We just continued to flirt a bit and eventually him and I became official. This was a year ago. We dated for about seven months and then he ended up breaking up with me. It happened around the end of December. It was a hard time for me. Likely for him too. I was in a very dark place for a bit until I had to go back to school and I had to crack down on my studies. I focused on my schooling, friends, and fitness in that time. Finally after I finished school, him and I mentioned we still had feelings for each other and we'd like to be something again.

My boyfriend and I, have really strong personalities and values that sometimes clash with each other, and it's been tough to navigate, but we've been learning and communicating so much better than we ever had. We've been starting to understand each other. We had a small rough patch, but for a good chunk of time now we've been great! So we decided to book a trip again.

So here comes the first meeting story (sorry for the huge lead up.)

We purchased the tickets in the summer. I would be flying from Vancouver, British Columbia to Boston, Massachusetts. It was my first time flying ever and my first time being in the United States. I was a nervous train wreck. I was so close to breaking down in the airport so many times. (Word of advice. Overnight flights. Don't do them unless you have to.)

So being a newbie to flying, I had an interesting time in Logan International Airport. Instead of being in the lounge where you're supposed to wait for people picking you up. I ended up back over on the departure side and so I made finding me a lot more complicated, but it was his first time picking someone up in the airport anyways. Haha. We were both fairly nervous leading up to the event. The anticipation of trying to find each other too only made it build up.

I remember him sending me a message asking if I was nervous. I replied with yes and he said he was too. It really is a weird concept to think about hugging someone you've never met before. Especially for a person like me. I don't usually cross into people's boundaries that often, I don't get in their space, so it was hard to imagine.

However, the moment I saw him and knew it was him, you really do get that feeling where you don't notice anyone or anything else because once I saw him that was it, I picked up my bag and ran the short little distance and I literally threw my bag on the ground and I hugged him. I was so overwhelmed from lack of sleep and stressful time I had in the airport that, that was what I needed.

After that, there was a small bit of awkwardness while we drove to his place, but it shortly just felt normal and natural. We both agreed that we just felt comfortable and when i was there for about ten days. It felt as if we had been living together for months. We spent a lot of time just sitting around and watching shows, playing games, and cuddling. We did go out and do stuff. We had quite a few dates. Ended up walking around downtown at night, it was beautiful, but my paranoia kicked in as it usually does.

I've been home for a couple weeks now, and I miss him a lot. We want to close the distance eventually, but he still has to come see where I live as it was what we decided on. It is hard to go from having them around and being able to hug them, kiss them, and what not. To not having them around. There is not a day I regret meeting him. I love him with all my heart. With everything I have. We are both willing to do what we need to, to close the distance.

Such a beautiful and warm story! I love it and really enjoyed reading it, seeing your whole entire journey and mishaps along the way is really humbling to me, cause I feel like these things happen to just ME, so thank you for sharing this.

What was your first (and hopefully ONLY) breakup about?

[AshleyJ]

Such a beautiful and warm story! I love it and really enjoyed reading it, seeing your whole entire journey and mishaps along the way is really humbling to me, cause I feel like these things happen to just ME, so thank you for sharing this.

What was your first (and hopefully ONLY) breakup about?

Our first breakup was a harsh one. He said he wanted to try to date local instead of long distance. Said he didn't know if he loved me anymore. I feel like it's something a lot of LDR couples can end up going through. The need/want of having someone with them in the now. It's hard to go through as the one who believes in making it through stuff like that. But eventually he mentioned that he did miss me and that I was the best girlfriend he had ever had and he didn't want to lose me. We're good as of today. We've come a long way from there. Like I said, we just communicate better now and we've learned each other's personalities more. Our next step is planning to save up and van dwell actually! We want to do it for a year and in that time we would like to work on the process that would close the gap between us for good.

[Lyra]

We first met when I was on a stopover in Malaysia (he was on holiday there as well) on my way home from nearly a year in beautiful New Zealand. We explored the city together, and parted as friends, which we stayed for a rather long time I guess I was still not over someone else back then, so it did take some time for me to evolve feelings, ans mostly because I am very good at building walls . He actually visited me the year after and once again we had a great time and he met many of my friends, but I actually turned him down because I was scared I would lose him and I was not sure if my feelings might be just platonic. We started texting even more and he started to call me very often. The year after it was my turn to visit him, and my heart was already beating like crazy after alightning from the plane, and when I saw him standing in the arrival hall of the airport waiting for me, my feelings hit me like a freight train. I did not address them at first because I got the feeling he was not interested in me anymore, as during that time he talked about other girls A LOT. I got very frustrated and he noticed and confronted me about it. He eventually guessed what I was too chicken to tell him. He said that he still had feelings for me as well, but had thought that I only saw him as a friend, and had wanted to respect that.
We decided unanimously that we should give it a try