Hey folks, apologies for such a long rant, I think I just needed to get this off my shoulders.
I'm Russian (for the love of God let's leave this thread Putin-free, I hate him no less than an average American), 22, and back in January 2016 I met on Meowchat a girl from Mexico whom I immediately liked very much; I dropped her an 'Hola' – fortunately for me I know Spanish on a near-native level – we began chatting and apparently the sympathy was mutual, on the third day I sent her a postcard from Moscow telling that I love her (I'm somewhat old-fashioned and prefer snail mail for serious matters). In about two weeks we already proclaimed ourselves a couple and were absolutely certain that our intentions were serious.
The problem now is that my mother heavily disliked her since the very beginning, would constantly insult her to me saying she's a whore because "when seeing us skyping she was behaving too revealingly" (I don't remember anything like that though, she was just laying on her sofa), and also because she accidentally saw the photos she sent me on my tablet and they were apparently "inappropriate for a woman with honor" (we never even interchanged nudes, the only stuff she ever sent me were those parts of the body you may see on the beach or just on the street on a hot day). My mother also dislikes her appearance (she's a BBW and I'm a chubby chaser, so for me dating a skinny or average size girl is a no go) and made some pretty crazy suspicions, such as me having been conjured into liking her and that the Mexican sweets she once sent me had a spell casted upon them. The reaction of my father was in no way positive at all, she went as far as reaching to my stepsister and asking her to persuade me to terminate this relationship, something she obviously refused.
That's how we lived for an entire year, obviously not without arguments but there wasn't a single day when we won't be chatting. The attitude of my parents was getting me hopeless as I was eager to see her, just like she to see me, but this wasn't an easy task. Nonetheless in the beginning of March this year I bought a round plane ticket to Mexico City, due on September 15. I didn't tell my parents in advance, after a few days I announced this to my mother and to say that she was furious would be a colossal understatement. I had to went through real hell until she more or less calmed down, but I obviously have been realizing the sooner is September, the more problematic my parents will be.
Came September, in the beginning of the 10s my father demands me to cancel the trip and even promises to refund me the cost of the plane ride, apparently he and my mother were concerned and very much convinced that I won't return from Mexico but instead he forcefully married to her and made into a slave or something alike. In the meantime my mother reaches by email to the mom of my girl explaining how she's worried for me to fly alone to such a faraway location, and that she considers it inappropriate the photos sent to me and the fact that we decided to stay in the same hotel room. My mother made no direct offenses, yet the letter was essentially suggesting that her daughter is a cheap one and without much honor. Her mother replied with lots of insults towards my parents saying in particular that neither she nor her daughter will ever meet them, which honestly I myself didn't like too much, and as a result I had to change my itinerary so to meet the daughter alone but not the mother. Sadly this even cemented my parents' conviction that I'm about to travel to a lair of criminals that her family apparently is, and I'd have to listen again about how my mother will get a heart attack, how I'll be forcefully married or how the contraceptives my girl already began taking were in reality fake, that she'll try her best to get pregnant in order to not let me go.
I won't be paying that much attention to this, however my mother is somewhat on the hysterical side and this whole situation made me legitimately worry for her health since she indeed had a micro heart attack last winter. I reached to our family psychologist for advice who's been aware of the situation for months, he said that my mother's condition is indeed worrying from a medical point of view and that some sort of a compromise needs to be reached. He suggested particularly that, if she's so worried about me, she can buy herself a ticket to Mexico as well and live in a different hotel (the one I booked was already full anyway). The proposal looked sound to me, my mother surprisingly accepted it as well but not the girl who outright rejected it, and then said that even if she agreed her mother would never let her go to Mexico City (she's from a different state) if mine goes as well. I was already really tired of this whole situation, the unwillingness of parties' to accept any sort of compromise and the psychological pressure I've been undergoing for all of this time, and canceled the trip.
So, to sum it up: on one hand there's a girl whom I'm absolutely certain that I love and whom I dream of visiting, on the other there was my mother at risk of having a heart attack (confirmed by MD) and convinced that I were about to fall into a trap with unpredictable consequences (fears partially shared by our psychologist, who's also a sexologist), and my gf's mother mad at my parents who won't let her daughter anywhere near them. The result however is that I still haven't met my lover and we're not even sure if we'll ever have the opportunity to meet – money isn't an issue for me here, I can buy another ticket but not with such risks. I also really didn't like the behavior of my potential mother-in-law and found it even somewhat suspicious.
Not sure what I want to achieve with this rant – advices – suggestions – perhaps, I just needed to get this off my shoulders because although we still love each other and I've never in my life been so attracted to anyone, we're considering splitting up because this relationship apparently has no future.
This was a long post but still a very brief description of what has been happening here, I'd love to provide more details should someone want to see them.
I'm Russian (for the love of God let's leave this thread Putin-free, I hate him no less than an average American), 22, and back in January 2016 I met on Meowchat a girl from Mexico whom I immediately liked very much; I dropped her an 'Hola' – fortunately for me I know Spanish on a near-native level – we began chatting and apparently the sympathy was mutual, on the third day I sent her a postcard from Moscow telling that I love her (I'm somewhat old-fashioned and prefer snail mail for serious matters). In about two weeks we already proclaimed ourselves a couple and were absolutely certain that our intentions were serious.
The problem now is that my mother heavily disliked her since the very beginning, would constantly insult her to me saying she's a whore because "when seeing us skyping she was behaving too revealingly" (I don't remember anything like that though, she was just laying on her sofa), and also because she accidentally saw the photos she sent me on my tablet and they were apparently "inappropriate for a woman with honor" (we never even interchanged nudes, the only stuff she ever sent me were those parts of the body you may see on the beach or just on the street on a hot day). My mother also dislikes her appearance (she's a BBW and I'm a chubby chaser, so for me dating a skinny or average size girl is a no go) and made some pretty crazy suspicions, such as me having been conjured into liking her and that the Mexican sweets she once sent me had a spell casted upon them. The reaction of my father was in no way positive at all, she went as far as reaching to my stepsister and asking her to persuade me to terminate this relationship, something she obviously refused.
That's how we lived for an entire year, obviously not without arguments but there wasn't a single day when we won't be chatting. The attitude of my parents was getting me hopeless as I was eager to see her, just like she to see me, but this wasn't an easy task. Nonetheless in the beginning of March this year I bought a round plane ticket to Mexico City, due on September 15. I didn't tell my parents in advance, after a few days I announced this to my mother and to say that she was furious would be a colossal understatement. I had to went through real hell until she more or less calmed down, but I obviously have been realizing the sooner is September, the more problematic my parents will be.
Came September, in the beginning of the 10s my father demands me to cancel the trip and even promises to refund me the cost of the plane ride, apparently he and my mother were concerned and very much convinced that I won't return from Mexico but instead he forcefully married to her and made into a slave or something alike. In the meantime my mother reaches by email to the mom of my girl explaining how she's worried for me to fly alone to such a faraway location, and that she considers it inappropriate the photos sent to me and the fact that we decided to stay in the same hotel room. My mother made no direct offenses, yet the letter was essentially suggesting that her daughter is a cheap one and without much honor. Her mother replied with lots of insults towards my parents saying in particular that neither she nor her daughter will ever meet them, which honestly I myself didn't like too much, and as a result I had to change my itinerary so to meet the daughter alone but not the mother. Sadly this even cemented my parents' conviction that I'm about to travel to a lair of criminals that her family apparently is, and I'd have to listen again about how my mother will get a heart attack, how I'll be forcefully married or how the contraceptives my girl already began taking were in reality fake, that she'll try her best to get pregnant in order to not let me go.
I won't be paying that much attention to this, however my mother is somewhat on the hysterical side and this whole situation made me legitimately worry for her health since she indeed had a micro heart attack last winter. I reached to our family psychologist for advice who's been aware of the situation for months, he said that my mother's condition is indeed worrying from a medical point of view and that some sort of a compromise needs to be reached. He suggested particularly that, if she's so worried about me, she can buy herself a ticket to Mexico as well and live in a different hotel (the one I booked was already full anyway). The proposal looked sound to me, my mother surprisingly accepted it as well but not the girl who outright rejected it, and then said that even if she agreed her mother would never let her go to Mexico City (she's from a different state) if mine goes as well. I was already really tired of this whole situation, the unwillingness of parties' to accept any sort of compromise and the psychological pressure I've been undergoing for all of this time, and canceled the trip.
So, to sum it up: on one hand there's a girl whom I'm absolutely certain that I love and whom I dream of visiting, on the other there was my mother at risk of having a heart attack (confirmed by MD) and convinced that I were about to fall into a trap with unpredictable consequences (fears partially shared by our psychologist, who's also a sexologist), and my gf's mother mad at my parents who won't let her daughter anywhere near them. The result however is that I still haven't met my lover and we're not even sure if we'll ever have the opportunity to meet – money isn't an issue for me here, I can buy another ticket but not with such risks. I also really didn't like the behavior of my potential mother-in-law and found it even somewhat suspicious.
Not sure what I want to achieve with this rant – advices – suggestions – perhaps, I just needed to get this off my shoulders because although we still love each other and I've never in my life been so attracted to anyone, we're considering splitting up because this relationship apparently has no future.
This was a long post but still a very brief description of what has been happening here, I'd love to provide more details should someone want to see them.
Comment