First meeting in January and I'm already anxious

[CaptainEo]

So. We're gonna meet for the first time in 91 days (yes I'm counting) and I am a very nervous person. As much as I'm very happy to meet him, beyond happy, I am also very, very, very, very anxious. I'm traveling to the US, so it's a 20 hours trip from France (going to Frankfurt first, no direct flights of course) so I'm gonna look tired, my hair is gonna be a mess, I'll be smelly etc etc... what if I don't look good? I KNOW it's not THAT important but I can't help but being a bit anxious. I've watched tons of videos online about how to look fresh after a plane trip, I hope it will help. And many things come to my mind: what if I don't see him right away at the airport? What if I see him, trip on my own feet and fall like an idiot? And most of all, WHAT AM I GONNA DO WHEN I SEE HIM??!! SHAKE HANDS???!!! I'm french, saying hello is one kiss on each cheek. He's american, they don't do that. I guess hugging is an alternative. I've watched videos on youtube of people in a LDR meeting for the first time and they are all hugging. For some reason, those videos look incredibly staged. I'm not gonna run and jump in his arms. I can't do that. I'll be paralyzed!! Yes that sounds more like me. I'll see him, stop moving and have a stroke. This is a nightmare, the anxiety is just gonna ruin it all. What if I cry? I look absolutely digusting when I cry, crying is just not an option. Should we kiss? I keep dreaming of the day we're finally be able to kiss and not just talk about it like some abstract idea, but should we kiss at the airpot or wait to be alone?

This is unreal. We're texting everyday, we skype several times a week, sometimes for hours. Just thinking that I'm gonna have him in front of me, it's just... I can't describe what I am feeling. But this anxiety is killing it all, I don't want it to ruin it. Has anyone felt as anxious as me? Do you have any advice? Any tips? How do you handle the anxiety? I know I won't be desappointed when I'll see him. But what if he is?

[Redheart14]

Hi and welcome
It's perfectly normal to feel anxious and have these questions before meeting for the first time. Try not to stress about how you think you'll present after the flight. I think he'd be understanding knowing how far you've flown. Just try to be yourself and be like you would be with your friends that way you come across as you are not someone you think you should be, if that makes sense. In term of greeting each other, why don't you ask? My SO asked me if it was ok to hug when we met. That way (for me), it made it easier knowing there was going to be a hug. Try not to overthink things as you'll drive yourself crazy. Just breathe, stay calm and keep reminding yourself that he's probably just as nervous too.

[CaptainEo]

Thank you for your anwser.

I'm trying to relax but it's a very complicated thing for me. I know he's not nervous, he is confidence incarnated. He's not worried, he's not anxious. Maybe I'll ask him. I did tell me that he would hug me though... I guess that's what I should expect then.

[Redheart14]

Best of luck

[ThePhoenixRises]

You'll be fine

My advice is to not worry about what you will/should do when you see him. Don't worry about if it is a hug, a kiss, a handshake or whatever it is - because I can promise you - when you are standing in front of each other, it will take its natural course - so I suggest just let it happen naturally. When I met my SO for the first time, he had flown around 21 hours, and I was very nervous when I was waiting for him. As soon as he walked out of the arrivals area I saw him right away. He saw me right away and he came to me and we just hugged each other really tightly without any words. I think I eventually managed to say hello to him, but that hug felt like it went forever and it was like nothing else or nobody else existed in that airport at that moment. Perhaps if you are worried that he won't find you, give him a brief explanation of where you will be standing (for example, I was standing next to the rental car counter, so at least he could find that and see that I was in that area).

I completely understand the anxiety and nerves of the first meeting - what I did was had a bottle of water and some music on my phone and my headphones, and I just sat waiting in the arrivals hall, listening to the music kept me calm. Just breathe some deep breaths and think about all the times you have seen him on Skype etc. It's the same guy - the only difference is that he is standing in front of you instead of being on a screen.

In regards to feeling fresh after a flight - firstly - he will understand that you have had a long flight and that you probably won't feel as awake or fresh as normal. This is is okay. I always take my toothbrush, baby wipes, moisturiser, deoderant and a hairbrush in my carry on - and as soon as I arrive in his country I find the nearest bathroom and clean my teeth, wash my face, moisturise, etc. In all the airports I have been in, there is usually a bathroom before you have to go through passport control. If you are really worried, you can do all of this on the plane but it is harder in those small plane bathrooms This helps me to feel a bit more awake after the flights (my flights are around 23 hours to get to him not to mention numerous time zone changes). Baby wipes/face wipes are great for a quick clean of the face and any other area. I always worry that I don't smell good and that I look like a mess when I arrive in his country but he says he never notices anything - he is always just so happy to see me coming out of the arrivals hall and as soon as I get to his flat I have a long hot shower and then I feel normal and somewhat alive again.

It is all very exciting and scary but I am sure you will be fine!

[autumn1790]

As I waited gor my SO to land in America, I saw someone walk out with a drained face and thought, "Aww, he's so exhausted." It took me a split second to recognize my SO--I have terrible face recognition. It was the exhaustion on his face that made him look so cute and drew my attention to him. So, don't worry about how you look...you will look attractive to your SO any way you come out of the gate. Let things flow naturally and focus on other things you need to get done in the time being. I would suggest that you dont plan on kissing ...meaning don't script that special moment...let it flow naturally at the right time. Also, be prepared for hiccups, and have backup plans in place in case you get delayed.

[hmrambling]

I encourage you to focus on you until you are able to meet so that you don't go stir crazy imagining how it will be when the two of you guys meet.

Are you a student? If yes, go to school. Focus on school.
Are you gainfully employed? If yes, go to work and be present at work.
Have friends? If yes, spend time with them. Enjoy yourself.
Have hobbies? If yes, spend time on your hobbies.
Have family? If yes, spend time with them.
Have interests? If yes, spend time on those things you are interested in.
Have internet? Read about the stages of relationships so that you will be knowledgeable about how relationships grow.
Exercised today? If not, go for a walk or jog or bike ride. Get active.
If you answered no to all of the above, change your life so that you can answer yes to some of these things.

Be a whole person so that you can be a whole person in a relationship. Become a priority and have a great relationship with yourself. Do not rely on your partner to complete you. Be a complete person whose partner is a positive addition to your life.