I don't know when I am going to see him angain and I am nervous

[Elisabetta]

Hi!

I just started my LDR. I just moved from living with him (best three months in my life) to start my new job. Now we are 650km apart.

I cannot take days from my work for the first couple of months to visit him. I would go to his place just for the weekend, but no low cost solutions are available in those days, and I cannot spent a thousand euros for a weekend.
He has a lot more freedom with his job, since he is still a PhD student. However, he is not willing to visit me now, because he has a lot of work to do (deadline for graduating are close). I understand that he is working very much, he is stressed and he really needs dome rest, so even when the busy period is over, he won't jump on the first plane to visit me, but he will take some time for himself.
Christmas would be the first option to meet each other, but during that period he is going to visit his family, in India. So no possibility to stay together.

So to summarize, either he finds a couple of days for visiting me before Christmas, or I find a last minute low cost flight, then we can see each other before the end of the year. Otherwise I am sure I can take a couple of days after Christmas to visit him.

The thing his: now we are very close to each other, just an hour away by plane. Next year, he will be either in Singapore or in US for his new job, and I will still be in Europe, so of course it will be difficult to visit. I am just very nervous about the fact that apparently we are not managing to see each other now that we are relatively close. On top of that, not knowing when I am going to see him next time makes me really nervous.

Do you have any advice?

[autumn1790]

Visits are something you guys have to plan together...you both have to give 50/50. If he's too busy right now, he needs to work with you a bit to figure out what can work. A relationship takes two! Ask him to help you plan something, that it's important to you. I wish you the best

[Elisabetta]

Yes, in principle it should be like that... In reality he was initially planning on visiting me only once before moving outside Europe. I had to tell him that that was unacceptable for me, since we were so close. So he told me he will try to visit once before Christmas too, but then every time that I try to pick up the topic he says that he should focus on graduating first.
I already know that getting him to visit me will be difficult, he doesn't like to fly. He also told me that in the future, when he will be overseas, I should visit four times per year and he will visit me once, since VISA to Europe requires a lot of work. I told him that he should try to come at least twice, or the effort we put would be too much unbalanced. He said that we will talk about this when the time for him to move comes.
I really feel bad about this, it seems to me that since I am very much into this relationship he is feeling comfortable in doing less. I also think that this can be culture-related: in India it is very common having long distance and visiting only three/four times per year, while for me this is something that I never thought I could accept.

[WonderfulWorld]

Hey,

We have lovers in the same city! I know it is really hard but try to take advantage of Europe's cheap travel modules (wowair and skyscanner!!!)... If it starts to feel too onesided then take a step back and rethink the situation (and communicate with him)!

[erwin1973]

I think there are flights from Zürich to Brussel from € 139 on. That's a lot less than € 1,000. I don't even pay one thousand to The Philippines...
With a bit of saving I guess € 139 should be affordable.
Or what about both taking a train to Liège? Take a hostel (very cheap) and have a great time there.

[differentcountries]

I think you should prioritize to see each other now that you are so close. It will be worth it even for a weekend.

If he works hard on his PhD, he can afford to take a weekend off to come visit you. If he is afraid to fly, he can go by train.

You need to take care of your relationship now before you will see each other less (visiting 4 times a year outside of Europe is actually quite good).

[Elisabetta]

I think there are flights from Zürich to Brussel from € 139 on. That's a lot less than € 1,000. I don't even pay one thousand to The Philippines...
With a bit of saving I guess € 139 should be affordable.
Or what about both taking a train to Liège? Take a hostel (very cheap) and have a great time there.

It's true, there are low cost options from Zurich to Brussels, but since I just started working I can't take hours off. For Friday night to Sunday night there no low cost options. Now I found out that if I wait until a couple of days before the weekend to book, I get the flights back and forth for 380chf, that is still much but affordable.
Thank you for suggesting Liege, I'll take a look at it

To Wonderful World: Cool to have lovers in the same place! I'll take a look to those websites too

[Elisabetta]

You need to take care of your relationship now before you will see each other less (visiting 4 times a year outside of Europe is actually quite good).

Yes, I plan on visiting for one week or ten days per time so that I can see him more times during the year. If I take advantage of the public festivities I think I should be able to do it! I don't know if it better this way or maybe just visiting twice for longer periods. Does anyone have any tips on that?