He and I connected online (Ancestry . com) in early August. We hit it off so well, immediately, to where it feels as though we've known each other for a thousand years. By Labor Day, he booked a flight to see me. We met mid-October, and it was as though a missing piece of me was finally in place, where it belongs.
We spent five days and five nights together, enjoying every moment getting to know each other properly and exploring some places special to me. We ended up having dinner with my parents (which was not on my agenda in any way shape or form, considering I hadn't even told my mother I had someone coming to see me, or that I was taking a trip). I did plan, and we did, for him to meet my grandmother, as she is one of the three most important people in my life and isn't doing well.
There are two, glaring issues aside from the fact that we are thousands of miles apart. Financially, I am not in a position to travel. Also, I am only afforded five days of vacation time each year through my employer. Being in the UK, he has at least five weeks off each year, and he claims the costs of coming here is not an issue. He has mentioned being able to come back in a few months, but I won't have the time to take off. He has mentioned flying me to the UK, but again, taking the time off work is an issue. If I was to go over there, I could use all five days at once, leave on a Friday, and have two weekends, but he (god love him) doesn't want me to take all of my time for him, because I have children and might need days for them.
When he came here, he had the burden of an expensive flight, and he rented a car. I booked a beautiful, little cabin for us for a few days, and I was able to work out with the owner to make payments towards it, so it wasn't as burdensome to my tight budget. I brought groceries and he took me to a nice dinner the last night we spent together.
I don't know how to make this work within normal financial circumstances. My job is good, considering. I earn a salary now, and it's livable - for me. I've had a difficult financial life for many years having fled and divorced an abusive marriage. He doesn't know the details of my finances, other than he's been told I'm not in a position to travel.
He and I have shared most of the details of our pasts, and he is probably the most understanding soul I've ever known. And it's not so much the fact that I am stuck where I live now until my last child turns 18 (eight more years), that is disconcerting to him, it's the fact that the US has no mandated time off work for its citizens. He was flabbergasted when I told him I have five days off for the year. And more so when I told him I was lucky to have that. If I took three days off, as I did in October, we would have very little time for a second visit during the year. If I took all five days at once, we could only see each other once a year.
If I won a lottery, these would be non-issues. Unfortunately, reality is that is so far from the realm of possibility.
What ways have you worked around the financial and time constraints? I am determined for us to work, as he and I both feel that the other is the only person in the world who gets the other. I may not be able to leave the states for another eight years, but is it realistic to believe we can make once or twice a year visits work for eight years?
We spent five days and five nights together, enjoying every moment getting to know each other properly and exploring some places special to me. We ended up having dinner with my parents (which was not on my agenda in any way shape or form, considering I hadn't even told my mother I had someone coming to see me, or that I was taking a trip). I did plan, and we did, for him to meet my grandmother, as she is one of the three most important people in my life and isn't doing well.
There are two, glaring issues aside from the fact that we are thousands of miles apart. Financially, I am not in a position to travel. Also, I am only afforded five days of vacation time each year through my employer. Being in the UK, he has at least five weeks off each year, and he claims the costs of coming here is not an issue. He has mentioned being able to come back in a few months, but I won't have the time to take off. He has mentioned flying me to the UK, but again, taking the time off work is an issue. If I was to go over there, I could use all five days at once, leave on a Friday, and have two weekends, but he (god love him) doesn't want me to take all of my time for him, because I have children and might need days for them.
When he came here, he had the burden of an expensive flight, and he rented a car. I booked a beautiful, little cabin for us for a few days, and I was able to work out with the owner to make payments towards it, so it wasn't as burdensome to my tight budget. I brought groceries and he took me to a nice dinner the last night we spent together.
I don't know how to make this work within normal financial circumstances. My job is good, considering. I earn a salary now, and it's livable - for me. I've had a difficult financial life for many years having fled and divorced an abusive marriage. He doesn't know the details of my finances, other than he's been told I'm not in a position to travel.
He and I have shared most of the details of our pasts, and he is probably the most understanding soul I've ever known. And it's not so much the fact that I am stuck where I live now until my last child turns 18 (eight more years), that is disconcerting to him, it's the fact that the US has no mandated time off work for its citizens. He was flabbergasted when I told him I have five days off for the year. And more so when I told him I was lucky to have that. If I took three days off, as I did in October, we would have very little time for a second visit during the year. If I took all five days at once, we could only see each other once a year.
If I won a lottery, these would be non-issues. Unfortunately, reality is that is so far from the realm of possibility.
What ways have you worked around the financial and time constraints? I am determined for us to work, as he and I both feel that the other is the only person in the world who gets the other. I may not be able to leave the states for another eight years, but is it realistic to believe we can make once or twice a year visits work for eight years?
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