How can I meet my gf?

[Ondine]

Hi!

I’m 7591 miles away from my girlfriend, and my parents don’t even know I’m Lesbian. She lives In Indonesia and I live in France. How could I ever meet her since I’m only 14 and her parents don’t know either?

We haven’t known each other for extremely long but this kind of meeting has to be planned a long time in advance I imagine... If anyone has ideas, help is very welcome.

Thanks for reading this

P.S. : sorry if my sentences aren’t as clear as I think them to be, as you may have understood English isn’t my main language

[Lio]

Salut, chère compatriote.

Indeed, going to Indonesia isn't the most simple trip to plan. You have to know that airplane tickets aren't the cheapest ones - about 900 euros with Air France (with a transfer, either in Amsterdam or in Singapore). And obviously you have to have money with yourself when you're there. Indonesia isn't an expensive country, so you'll be fine.

But you have to know that Indonesia's main religion is islam. Homosexuality, regardless of the gender, is considered as a very serious sin (not only in islam, but in christianity too, surely in judaism as well). Some muslim countries sentence gay/lesbian people to prison, or sometimes to death. But in Indonesia, homosexuality isn't forbideen ... unless in Aceh province (I hope your SO doesn't live there). And even if it's not forbidden, it's not well considered by the majority of people. You may get discriminated.

Now, about my opinion. You know that you're very young. You also state that your parents don't know you're lesbian, so they don't know you have a girlfriend you met online, and same goes for your SO. I may sound old school, but if I had a 14 years old daughter willing to meet her lover in the other part of the world, my answer would be no, for the following reasons :

1. I think we're too young to travel alone until we're about 18 or 20. Even if it was somewhere in Europe or eastern Asia (Korea, Japan), which are well-known to be safer, we're too young. I wouldn't let my child travel there unless there's a group of adults looking at them, making sure they don't cause trouble, etc.
2. If my child is going to meet their friend abroad, it's normal for me to know about the friend or lover, and their family. And to make sure they're all okay for a meeting to happen. And to make sure they are people we can trust. I would maybe think about it after a first meeting, preferably in my country.
3. I don't care my child is straight or gay or lesbian. But I would prefer my child to be honest towards me about their relationship, CDR or LDR. If my child is telling me "Can I go to Indonesia ? Just because", I wouldn't take them seriously. (I exaggerate a bit, but I think you get what I mean)

I understand you're willing to meet your SO, but you need to think about these points first. If you want some more precisions (or some clarification), you can PM me in French.

[Ondine]

Thanks

Salut, chère compatriote.

Indeed, going to Indonesia isn't the most simple trip to plan. You have to know that airplane tickets aren't the cheapest ones - about 900 euros with Air France (with a transfer, either in Amsterdam or in Singapore). And obviously you have to have money with yourself when you're there. Indonesia isn't an expensive country, so you'll be fine.

But you have to know that Indonesia's main religion is islam. Homosexuality, regardless of the gender, is considered as a very serious sin (not only in islam, but in christianity too, surely in judaism as well). Some muslim countries sentence gay/lesbian people to prison, or sometimes to death. But in Indonesia, homosexuality isn't forbideen ... unless in Aceh province (I hope your SO doesn't live there). And even if it's not forbidden, it's not well considered by the majority of people. You may get discriminated.

Now, about my opinion. You know that you're very young. You also state that your parents don't know you're lesbian, so they don't know you have a girlfriend you met online, and same goes for your SO. I may sound old school, but if I had a 14 years old daughter willing to meet her lover in the other part of the world, my answer would be no, for the following reasons :

1. I think we're too young to travel alone until we're about 18 or 20. Even if it was somewhere in Europe or eastern Asia (Korea, Japan), which are well-known to be safer, we're too young. I wouldn't let my child travel there unless there's a group of adults looking at them, making sure they don't cause trouble, etc.
2. If my child is going to meet their friend abroad, it's normal for me to know about the friend or lover, and their family. And to make sure they're all okay for a meeting to happen. And to make sure they are people we can trust. I would maybe think about it after a first meeting, preferably in my country.
3. I don't care my child is straight or gay or lesbian. But I would prefer my child to be honest towards me about their relationship, CDR or LDR. If my child is telling me "Can I go to Indonesia ? Just because", I wouldn't take them seriously. (I exaggerate a bit, but I think you get what I mean)

I understand you're willing to meet your SO, but you need to think about these points first. If you want some more precisions (or some clarification), you can PM me in French.

Thanks for this answer and I perfectly understand your point of vue. I understand my being to young to travel far away from home to an unknown country.
I thought of trying to say it to my parents, though after thinking about it for around 10 seconds I realized I already knew their reaction. First of all they would tell me it’s a phase for the girlfriend part, and second they would tell me I don’t really know her, that I may find myself in front of an 80 year old man (even though we FaceTime basically every day) and they’d reprimand me since they don’t want me to use technology or my phone in this way. My own parents are hell to live with if you want to live a normal life so for any big decision or big plan I never really tell them the whole truth, because I have tried in the past and it never worked. So, for this plan, I can’t go to Indonesia until Im 18 or more.

My only chance at meeting her one day would be at a convention or through mutual holidays, obviously planned in advance. Yet again, even this would be difficult, doing everything in secret...

Thank you so much for you answer once again, I really appreciate it.