Trip cancelled due to illnes - how to cheer up and stay positive?

[ClaraMay]

Hi everyone,

so we were about to meet this week for a long weekend during a business trip of mine that I prolonged. Sadly, due to an acute severe ear infection, I am not aloud to fly for such a long time (journey was about 16 hours) and I had to cancel everything.

Of course I was very sad but also exhausted because of the infection and the medication. Now, after a few days, I am starting to feel better and reality is hitting me. We have to wait until Christmas to see each other, our last visit was three weeks in July.

My bf has been quite positive and relaxed - he said he would not focus on not meeting but instead on me getting healthy and our next meeting which is at Christmas. However, I am sure he is sad too and I feel like I cannot really be there for him. We both talked the last weeks about how nice it was that we could at least see each other for a few days before meeting up at Christmas, so that we have energy to continue. We both struggle with that our daily lives, it starts to feel like just going through the motions without each other.

Any advice or tips to feel close or to be there for each other? There is no way we can meet up earlier - due to work and financially (flight tickets are expensive from Canada to Finland).

[whatevergirl]

I understand it may be such a disappointment, but your health is the most important thing and I'm glad your boyfriend agrees.

My boyfriend and I FaceTime (or call) nearly everyday, if not, everyday, and we talk about our days and plan out what we want to do once we're together. I found that making future plans is a good way of having something to look forward to for the both of you. For example, he's going to come visit me in NYC after not having seen each other for 2 months, and we already made plans of what we want to do. For example, you could take a small trip or do a certain activity that requires future planning. I found that this helped a lot because it made us both much more excited to see each other and feel closer to one another.

It may be a let down but he's right- just focus on getting better and plan Christmas activities with him. (It is a romantic holiday/season, after all!)

[Jazz0817]

Hello!

Definitely late here with the reply! But I totally agree with whatevergirl. Your health is more important and he is so kind to focus on that instead of the fact that you guys weren't able to meet.

I'm still a newbie here so I'm not sure if I have the best advice but I will try. Especially because I feel like even the support from everyone here can just help with some LDR depression. Have you two recorded any videos or voice messages for one another to refer back to maybe? Video/voice messages of reassurance. When you guys aren't able to speak. I know that has helped me, even just the live screenshots through face time. Whenever I miss him so much and we can't speak, I refer back to those things and I instantly feel a little better.

As for being there for each other...so last week was just an emotional week. I was in quite the hole which I felt I couldn't get out of because I just missed him so much and both of us have been extremely busy with our senior year in college and work. When we would facetime at the end of the day, I would cry and not even be able to hold a conversation but he would be there for me. Reassuring me that everything would be okay even with my eyes all swollen and my face red. Even just that, making sure you guys are there for each other when either one of you is sad. I have to wake up at 5 am about 3 times a week and during those mornings I would feel the most down. So my boyfriend would actually set his alarm at 2 am to message me good morning and wish me a good day. That in itself has helped a little. I know that's a bit of a stretch but maybe that can help you guys. I see that you guys have quite the time difference. Just last night we both just facetimed while we were both just working on hw. It felt nice that he was kind of there. Not sure what your schedules are like but if you have time to go on facetime even while one of you is getting ready for work or preparing to go to bed is helpful. I really at least some of this was helpful?