First, I want to thank everyone who's been sending me support and keeping up with this whole mess. I don't reply to comments on blogs, because I'm not sure if you actually get notification of replies, but I do read the comments and I appreciate/agree with what you all were saying.

This morning when I woke up, I sent him another message on WhatsApp. I intended to wait and not bother his sister again, but since I knew his phone was charged and he was at least getting the messages, I hoped that gently blowing up his phone would eventually get his attention. Or the attention of whomever had his phone. Anyway, I did my morning routine, checked WhatsApp again, and saw that the son of a bitch had fucking checked WhatsApp this morning.

I felt a little conflicted about it. Yay, he was okay, but WHAT THE FUCK. So, I sent him a few more messages to let him know that I KNOW he checked his phone, and then I went and took a bubble bath so I could be a grumpy grumble and still pamper myself. During my bath, my WhatsApp tone went off and I damn near had a heart attack. He was alive, hoo-fucking-ray! He said "I have a lot of explaining to do. Can we talk on skype in an hour?"

My initial thought was that he cheated. Fortunately, he didn't. My s/o has clinical depression, and apparently what happened was that he fell into a depressive episode and just sorta...shut everyone out. He's been really stressed out due to the recent horrible death of his friend, his job situation and the tough spot it puts him in, and some other stuff he felt weren't particularly important to mention. I understand all of that and I understand that he'd be really upset about it, buuuuuut I still got very shouty at him.

I made it clear that while I love him dearly and want him to be okay, he can't just fucking do that, and he is never going to do that again. He apologized to me and said that he understands it was incredibly stupid. He also says he won't do that again. I trust him for now, but I guess we'll see what happens in the future.

This job is bugging him out because if he takes it, we won't get to see each other for quite a while. However, he needs the money. He explained the job to me once before, but I've since forgotten and I really don't care right now to ask what it is again, but it'll have him in Saudi Arabia for a year. If he accepts the job, he'll be starting the second week of June, meaning he won't be able to come across for my birthday (June 2nd). So he's feeling a bit stuck because he wants to see me, but he really needs this job. He thinks he's gonna take the job, though, which I'm totally okay with. It'll suck not being able to see him, but a job is a job.

We're still talking at the moment, and I keep fluctuating between being relieved he's okay and being really mad at him. I dunno. He's alive, he didn't cheat on me, and I'm going to kick his ass regardless of whether I see him in a month or in a year.