My SO and I have not been through a deployment or any DETS. Contrary to popular belief (including my own) just because he isn't deployed doesn't mean he can do as he pleases. My boyfriend is in the Navy and although we get to talk daily (normally) I find the Navy is my biggest enemy most of the time. Let me explain..
Kevin and I met while he was on leave. I knew right off the bat that he was in the Navy as it was one of the first things we talked about. What I didn't know at the time was that shore duty is not the same thing as leave. In the Navy you get three years sea duty and three years shore duty and it keeps rotating. I assumed that on the three years of shore duty you were basically on vacation, oh how naive I was..
An average day for us is as follows..
[9:00 AM] I get a 10 minute wake-up call from Kevin (which makes my day much easier) to both say good morning to me, and goodnight to him
[9:15] I get up out of bed, shower and get ready for work
[10:00] I go into work, where I can't noticeably check my phone, just incase he texts or calls because he can't get to sleep.
[4:00 PM] I am normally on my way home, either sad because I miss him, or really mad that I missed a text or a phone call, because they are all I have.
[10:00] I normally start calling him, it's his turn for a wake-up call. Unlike me, he is a heavy sleeper, and this can sometimes take up to 2 hours..
[When he wakes up] Now its time for him to shower, dress, eat, and get ready for work.
[1:30 AM] I get a phone call on his way to the base, to say goodnight and that we'll talk in the morning.
Now this is on a good day, on a great day we'll have more time to talk, rather than the half hour (at most) that we normally talk, and we'll have several texts before I fall asleep. BUT we have bad times too. On a bad day the missed phone calls and texts are my enemy. His schedule changes all the time, and we have times where we're unable to speak for days at a time, because he has to catch up on sleep after his schedule goes from mornings to midnights to afternoons and then back to midnights in a week. There are times that I've missed a call that I know would be the last call for a week, and it breaks my heart. I think that anyone in a LDR can understand how the missed calls hurt, but I think more so, anyone in an LDR with someone in the military can understand that THAT missed call was supposed to be the one to get you through the week, month, or year..
I'm in Education Pk-3 and I'm meeting more and more students with parents in the military. It's just breaks my heart bc I know how hard it is for ME sometimes I couldn't imagine trying to understand it and deal with it at that age. They have such a sweet understanding though.
My boyfriend is a marine. It was so incredible hard at the beginning (it is my first relationship with someone at the military) when he said he was going to call and he didn't, or when he forgot something really important, I got mad at him. Now, he's job is different than a civilian job, they can't be treated the same; so now, I don't get mad anymore, I know how much it takes for him to communicate...you are so lucky that he gets to call or tex that much.
I understand what you say about how you feel when you loose a call, what I do is that I put my cell on vibration, and I always have it with me, all the time; when ever he calls, I take that call! No matter what!
Keep working on it, don't get sad, you need to be strong and support your guy.
Take care,
Y