I had a nice wake up call today while speaking with my mom. I said something along the lines of "I can't wait to have this baby" and of course she asked why I was rushing it, and my response was "I just can't stand myself anymore" Wow.
It's true though, I'm so miserable that I have a real hard time remembering who I am, or who I was before I was pregnant. I refuse to blame it on anyone but myself. I know I'm hormonal, but damn I don't think it's okay to be so hormonal that you hate yourself! I think the mix of being sick, being away from kevin, and being terrified of being pregnant all at once is too much. It's not having the baby that I have a problem with, it's being pregnant.
Kevin and I want this baby more than anything now. It was a hell of a surprise at first, and man moving away and going back LD was SOOOOOOO hard for us. We've had major ups and even more downs since I've been home, but I guess I expected it to be easy to be LD, because we were so good at it before! What a wake up call that was. Being LD and then CD, then back to LD SUCKSSSSS!!!!
On a higher note He will be here in about 3 weeks, I just hope I do well with him going back home when his leave is over!
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