Is it possible to have moved on from a person and relationship but still feel bitterness?

With my last relationship, I feel this way. I in no way miss him, and I have no interest in contacting him. But after some reflecting I feel like that guy affected me in ways he didn't deserve to, I didn't deserve, and shouldn't have and that pisses me off. I feel like no person who was only in your life for such a short period of time in the retrospect of things should have such an impact on you and dictate your thoughts and emotions.

Over a year ago I made a thread on this forum, my first thread ever, about a fight my ex and I had been going through over the span of a month. My ex was an Aspie who wasn't as in touch with what being an Aspie entailed, and made no effort to seek professional help or research of the condition if that's what you want to call it (I feel it's a bit insulting). And after reflection I feel like this was the biggest contributor to our problems. He was not in touch with himself. The guy could not handle even the slightest bit of human emotions other than those that were positive and because of this he could not easily handle a relationship.

There was a point in our relationship where he consciously decided he wanted space but being an Aspie it didn't come natural to him to communicate that to me so instead he forced it by pretending that Skype, our main form of communication, was interfering with his PC games and that he needed to uninstall it. I naively looked for solutions to fix Skype and he turned them all down (obviously). Eventually I grew upset because the situation left me feeling confused and conflicted. Once upon a time we'd spoken on Skype on the regular. In fact, he was the one who always initiated our calls. And then all of a sudden he wasn't all that interested in getting back to our main form of contact (he didn't have a cellphone and he didn't like using Facebook messenger). I finally got the hint that maybe he wanted space. I felt that if we maintained what we currently had we'd pretty much never talk, so that was too much space for me. Some people on here told me that I was being too demanding and to this day I maintain that I don't think I was. But I was fully willing to tone it down. Ya know, compromise. So I asked if he needed space. This was when he turned it all on me and accused me of accusing him of avoiding me. After our break up he did confess that yes, he was indeed avoiding me, but I never accused him of that. He then told me he was beginning to lose his patience with me, accused me of being needy and at times called me melodramatic. He dangled the fact that he was on the fence about our relationship in my face as if the ball was completely in his court.

He treated me like I had to change, that I had to prove myself to him, that there were things wrong with me, that I was doing everything wrong, that I was pressuring him into something he didn't want even though he admitted to misleading me. About 4-5 months into our relationship he abruptly decided he wanted to date casually as opposed to being in a serious relationship without even speaking a word. He just expected it to happen and when I wasn't psychic enough and it didn't magically happen he decided to use various methods to force change to the dynamic of our relationship without talking to me about it first. He stopped acting affectionate and romantic and turned it on me and made me out to be the bad guy when I showed concern. He began to view me bitterly when I didn't approach our relationship as casually as he wanted me to... because ya know, I wasn't even aware. He got mad at me and made me the bad guy when instead of talking to me, he started avoiding me to get space, and made me feel even worse about myself when I noticed.

And the worst thing about it was that all along my concerned were on point yet I bought into all of his bullshit when he tried to turn it around on me and convince me that I was being delusional and irrational. I was genuinely questioning my mental health. I thought there was something wrong with me. I had made an appointment with a professional and everything. I was feeling like my emotions were taking over and making me act crazy and in retrospect... I wasn't bad at all. I never yelled, I never threatened him, I never insinuated anything, never accused him of anything, most of the incidents which he liked to call fights and arguments and instances of me bitching him out and biting his head off lasted maybe an hour tops? And they were no where near as bad as he interpreted them to be. And that's what pisses me off the most, that this jackass had me fully doubting myself down to my mental health. I was beginning to think I was delusional. And that's when it hit me, this was manipulative and abusive. Sure, he may not have viewed it this way and it may not have been his intention, but that's what it was.

And it all boils down to a guy who did not want to get in touch with who he was, could not handle the typical obligations of a relationship, and could not put up with another person's emotions and needs. Realistically at any point he should have realized this and called it quits before manipulating me. And instead of talking about it, exploring alternatives (such as how he was contributing to this), and owning up to it, he convinced himself that it was all my fault and he made sure I knew it. This has left me with lingering damage. I still find myself doubting my emotions even in my current relationship. I find myself fearing moments when I have to communicate my emotions and thoughts to him because I fear how it may come across. It's not that I don't want to but some jackass in the past had me convinced that I am perpetually in the wrong. I am needy, melodramatic, emotional, delusional, and I am aware that he was wrong and there was nothing wrong with me but it's a hard habit to break when it's been beat into you. Oh and I should also mention that I wasn't even aware that he was an Aspie until halfway through our relationship and I spend countless hours researching relationship help with people on the spectrum. Per his usual fashion he claimed that he'd told me but I didn't care to pay attention and must have forgotten (placing blame on me again). Even though he hadn't.

I guess if anyone can walk away from this having learned something I'd say... if you're on the spectrum, please, do something. Research Aspergers, relationships, and get to know yourself, and most importantly, find the best way to communicate with your partner asap. If you're neurotypical and dating someone on the spectrum, you are going to have to be an emotionally strong individual. You will have to have a heart of diamond. Your partner most likely will not be the shoulder you cry on. Everyone should know that they are not mind readers, nor is their partner. You need to make your expectations, needs, and wants known with no room open to interpretation. When faced with conflict never place the blame fully on your partner. Always stop and think "What am I doing to contribute to this?" because that's the half that you can control. But don't let your partner push you around either and convince you that you're crazy or that there's something wrong with you. You guys just may be doing something wrong and need to communicate.