Although I've told him that this happens to people sometimes and they have to try again the next year, he does not want to try again, at least not in the states. This is a little saddening to me, because I really want him to be able to fulfill his dreams (and come to the states), but I understand where he is coming from. I mean, two visas and five grad schools... yeah, that would make me feel pretty unwelcome, too.
We have been in kind of a rough spot lately. Since we aren't spending a lot of time together, we've felt pretty disconnected from each other. Some bad stuff happened that left me feeling kinda insecure, and we're trying to recover from it, but it was really bad timing because our next visit is so close. I feel like it's close, anyway. Somehow he doesn't think 2 months is close. We've been apart for nearly 2 years... knowing that I'm coming to see him for sure in 2 months makes me elated, but I guess it's not soon enough for him.
We talked a lot about our relationship and what we want out of it-- how we can make it feel like we're closer even though we're spending less time together now because of work and other things. He mentioned some good points that I am working hard to overcome. He wants me to talk more and tell him more about my day, because he feels like he doesn't know what's going on in my life. He's absolutely right-- I have a tendency to be a listener and let other people talk all the time, and I don't think of my day-to-day happenings as important or interesting. It's an issue I'm quite aware of, and while I feel kind of uncomfortable talking so much about stupid little things that happened throughout the day, I know he's reading it and enjoying learning about my life.
I just want to bring us back together so we feel a lot closer before I go visit. I know how wonderful we are as a couple together, but I'm afraid that feeling distant for so long is going to have consequences for our in-person behavior. What else can we do (with very limited time during weekdays) to feel closer and more "real" to him?
I'm kind of bummed that my contract ends as late as it does. I really, really want to go visit him a week earlier than I have planned (August 1st - September 14th, tentatively) so that I can come for the independence day celebrations. I'm not sure what kind of consequences not finishing my entire contract might have, and my boss is out until June 6th (yeah, he took a 4 week vacation...), so I can't talk to him about it until then. Ending my contract a week early would also mean ~$500 less in my savings at the end (but a week more with him... I'd go for it, but he's hesitant because that's literally more than he makes in a month). Meanwhile, I'm DYING to book my tickets, although I'm annoyed that I have to fly on the weekend because it costs $100-200 more than flying on a T/W/Th. I wish I could work 40 hours a week instead of 37.5... I could leave so much earlier, maybe even the weekend before if I managed to work enough hours during the 2 upcoming weeks we have holidays
I like Moon's suggestion of both of you trying to move to a third country. If that's not an option, keep the faith that one of you will be able to move to the other within a couple years. Your SO can always reapply to grad schools and may change his mind in a few months.