and 2) there is a girl who regularly combs through my publicly accessible internet history, including this website, and reports it all to my SO's ex, so I'd rather keep my personal information private.I'm keeping the details restricted to my buddies here, but I know there are a lot of new faces and I thought I would share a little updated info so those of you who don't know me can know my story.
My SO and I met online in 2010 playing an MMORPG called Maplestory. He lives in Peru and I live in the Northeastern US. We were both in college and hit it off pretty quickly and started dating that summer. We didn't get to meet in person until the summer of 2012, when I went to visit him and stayed with him and his mom for 3.5 weeks. He wanted to come visit me first, but the US denied him a tourist visa (twice), so I decided to go there instead. After my first visit, we went another 2 years before we saw each other again in the summer of 2014, when I finally went back to Peru and stayed for 7 weeks. A couple months before that trip, we had some issues and so even though the trip was awesome and we're an awesome couple, we went on break after I left to go back home.
During the break, he went to therapy and worked on some personal issues, but we kept talking like we always did, minus the lovey stuff since we weren't together. However, he started seeing a girl from work, and it made me very insecure because I thought we were working on being together again. Although we still loved each other, things weren't really improving until a new opportunity for him to come here came up. It took way, way too long, but he finally broke up with her and right now we're waiting on an I-20 so he can apply for his student visa.
I've been on this forum since 2011 and I love this community dearly. I have missed being here so much since the break started and I left the forum. I'm really glad to be back, and I hope I can post more freely in the near future.
I'm interested in this new "thanks" system we have! I obviously haven't really posted since it's been implemented. Does this replace rep or is it in addition to it?
I'm glad to see that you're in a better place. Good luck with the SO's student visa! I've got my fingers crossed for you.
Hello, this is Juan (I was Rachel’s SO) and there are some things I would like to say.
First, I would like to start stating the fact that I did everything wrong since the moment I told Rachel that I was not feeling the same anymore about our relationship. At that time-- and for about 1.5 years-- I was unable to realize and accept how unsure about the relationship I was. I have finally realized that I did not want it anymore, but I stayed in it because I was afraid of losing Rachel as a contact/friend.
I started going out with someone else at first, only as a friend, but then I started liking her. We kept going out until we kissed. I did not measure the consequences of my acts: I cheated and apologized right after, but then tried to use that as an excuse to run away from the relationship. After that, we talked so many times about what I did and how I was feeling, but I was still scared of losing contact with Rachel, so I kept lying. I even started officially dating the other girl without telling Rachel-- when we were on ‘break’-- and kept hiding everything about it, because I was scared the other relationship was not ‘as good as I expected’. The only condition the other girl always set was that I stopped lying and finished what I had with Rachel for good if I wanted anything to do with her, but I lied to her as well, since we barely stopped talking during the relationship.
I came to Rachel asking for comfort so many times when I was feeling down or my relationship was under stress due to the other girl having doubts about me not doing what she had asked me to. I was wrong comparing my new relationship with what I had with her, and it was wrong to promise Rachel that I would come back and make up for everything I had done. Instead, I kept digging the hole with more lies.
At some point-- after her second visit-- Rachel offered me to go there for an English course. It was a chance for me to get to visit a new country, and find a school for me to study later. I would also be able to see her, so she could give me a new chance. I only had to break my current relationship in order to qualify. I did not think that right either, and accepted immediately. I was already in love with the other girl, and hurt her as well with lies.
During the whole time, I lied to everyone about what was going on in my life. The last time Rachel and I talked, I promised her that I would not see anyone else anymore until we talked among other things. I only did that because I thought I had lost the other girl for good, and it would be ‘easy’ to take the chance Rachel was offering. I was wrong. I still loved the other girl and she also gave me a new chance. For the first time, I made a choice following my heart and not doing what is best for me.
I do not seek anything. I just had to finally let the truth come out and to stop lying. I want to stop being an immature coward and accept the consequences of what I have done. This whole thing was my fault, and no one else’s.