Brendan arrived on the Wednesday before Christmas with full hands and a full beard. Wednesday was a work day for me and his flight was due to arrive around 3pm, so I asked him to take public transport up from the city so that I could pick him up from the train station when I got off work. My manager surprised my fellow reports and me by rescheduling lunch to a later time than we had planned, stating that he wanted us to be able to go home afterwards and not have to worry about going back to work. That still meant I wouldn't be getting free until around 3:30, and it's an hour into the city, so we stuck with our plan.
Leave it to NYC to have outrageous traffic-- not only was the bus from the airport to the train delayed, but the train itself as well! Between that and leaving work early, I had a lot more time at home to finish cleaning and prepping for his visit than I had anticipated... so maybe it worked out in my favor.
THE BEARD:
I'm very sorry to announce that I had to ask Brendan to shave his beautiful (ginger!!!) beard due to prickliness and undue stress on my delicate skin. Upon initial inspection I thought it might be soft enough to deal with, but I just couldn't handle it. It honestly looked REALLY good on him when it's trimmed to a shorter length, and he'd grown quite fond of it over time as it grew out, but he likes kissing me more than he likes his beard. RIP Beard 11/01/2018 - 12/20/2018.
I took one last photo on the day I asked him to shave.
NYC TRIP NUMBER ONE:
We arranged to meet up with some of my work friends the first weekend he was around so that they could FINALLY meet him! I have a habit of talking about him non-stop when he's not around, so he tends to exist in the minds of everyone I know as some sort of mythical Canadian being until they're able to meet.
Our first stop was Grand Central, where I had promised Brendan some excellent American cuisine from the esteemed dining facility known as Shake Shack. We had decided on a burger each and a seasonal shake for me that Brendan could try if he wanted (he's lactose intolerant, so only sips for him). Brendan asked if we could get some fries, too, and who am I to say no to him. Then some guy walked up through the line offering people his extra coupons! The guy in the front of the line declined them, but Brendan and I were like HECK YEAH! and gladly accepted. Turns out they were for a free fry with a $10 purchase, so instead of having to buy the fries, we got them for free! THEN... as we were waiting for our food... our order came out, but it was missing one of the burgers. The lady who was distributing orders looked in the bag and noticed it before we even had a chance to check ourselves, so she took it back immediately and told them to give us an order of free fries. So we ended up getting TWO orders of fries, totally for free. Well worth the trip!
I booked the Manhattan Circle Line Tour for both of us that day as a way to get as much out of his visit as possible in a short amount of time. I had originally done this tour with my friends from the UK when they came to visit in October of 2017 and was super impressed by the views and the excellent, well-informed tour guide we had. I was not disappointed this time around and Brendan was actually really interested in everything our tour guide had to say and learned a lot of history while also seeing a bunch of the NYC sites he was obligated to see as an out-of-country tourist.
There were two bad parts, unfortunately: one, it was COLD AS BALLS and windy as heck since we were out on the water, so we were absolutely freezing for a lot of the trip and got sprayed a lot since we wanted to sit in the open on the top deck. Two, we had to abandon the ice wine that Brendan had brought down as a gift from Canada for one of my work friends because they wouldn't let us take it on the boat and there was absolutely nowhere we could leave it within walking distance. We ended up just leaving it next to some plant near some spare folding tables hoping that maybe, MAYBE no one would take it (it absolutely got taken). RIP ice wine.
We had a heck of a time navigating the city afterwards-- since we were near the water, the wind was whipping down the cross-roads as we waited for the bus. Then we missed the bus we wanted to take and had to go wait in an even windier area for another bus that took us several blocks away from where we wanted to go. I was not very happy with the situation, but he has a way of trying to keep me grounded when things get overwhelming. We ended up walking from times square up to the Rockefeller Center to see the Rockefeller Center tree, but it was much more manageable than I had anticipated and much easier to get to the plaza than I thought it was going to be. We just walked right through Rockefeller Center and out into the courtyard. There was a huge line circling outside the building, but I guess it must have been either for a taping/viewing or one of the really popular shops, considering it was only a few days before Christmas.
Afterwards we took the subway down to KTown for dinner and Karaoke with my friends! We went to this Korean BBQ place that had just moved location but ended up being pretty good. We had wings and fried rice and dumplings and it was all delicious, and the staff were really flexible when I asked them if we could push back the reservation since my friends were going to be late (as expected. buncha flakes.).
BONUS POINTS: As we were standing in front of the restaurant waiting for my friends, Brendan looks up at the tall building next to us and goes, "Wait... is that the empire state building???" IT WAS. We had absolutely not planned this, but the restaurant just happened to be directly across from the rear of the Empire State building.
A few of my friends had to leave early to get ready for an early morning flight, but the rest of us all went to a favorite karaoke spot after dinner to spend the rest of the evening before we had to head home. I love to sing, but Brendan usually doesn't, so it took a bit of persuasion (and several drinks) to get him to sing. When he did, though... absolutely adorable. We had so much fun!
CHRISTMAS EVE:
Since we were going to be at my parents' place for the next two days, Brendan and I did presents shortly after breakfast on Christmas eve. I'll just cut to the chase: I got him a switch. He had been telling me for months not to since it cost so much, but I had gotten a really great price on one in November, and I knew it would make him really happy to have a console of his own since he's been limited on funds for so long. I got him Mario Kart to go with it since it's one of his favorite Nintendo games. He was thrilled.
We also finished up a batch of home-made egg nog to take to my parents' for the holiday.
That evening we went to my parents' house and got settled, with Brendan in my sister's room (where the cats usually don't go) with an air purifier to at least minimize his exposure to cat dander. I made a point of making sure he kept his things in his room and only came out when he wanted to socialize. More on this later.
BAD!!!
We had a nice family dinner together before going to church, and my mom, for whatever reason, felt the need to get out the ~good~ dinnerware. It was all good, though, and I felt like this was the time to tell them the news. Brendan knew it was coming, but I had never decided exactly when, and I broke it as gently as I could.
"So, uhm, just to give you guys a heads-up... Brendan and I have decided that I'll be looking for jobs in Canada."
I didn't really elaborate on how I was going to do it, because I didn't want to freak them out thinking I was about to up and leave, but when they asked me if I needed to do anything in particular to work in Canada, I just said yes and I'll need approval, kind of glossing over the fact that I've already been approved.
After dinner we got all dressed up for Christmas Eve Vespers at church. It's a tradition at my church to have everyone sing Christmas carols together after the service is over, and I was surprised to find that Brendan was singing along as well! That really warmed my heart and made me appreciate him a little more.
As we were leaving church, my mom kind of approached me with that concerned mom look on her face and said "I hope he knows what kind of commitment he's getting into." I don't know how to get around this. Hearing my mom say that and knowing that marriage is not on the horizon has made me panic a little, because I know the only thing that will make her feel better about it is marriage. I talked to Brendan about it a bit later that night and expressed to him that I really need him to show my parents that he's serious, because I'm worried about feeling like I'm not making the right decision.
After church, we stopped by my grandmother's house for a while to have some snacks and tea. Brendan brought some delicious pecan butter tarts down with him from Canada for her. We just chatted for a bit and ate a bunch since we it was like 9pm and we had just been singing for the past hour.
Finally, home, and into bed.
CHRISTMAS DAY:
A traditional Christmas day in my household usually revolves around opening stockings, a big Christmas breakfast, then opening gifts. Brendan didn't have a stocking, so I knitted one for him! For breakfast, I assigned Brendan to make french toast while my mom heated up some bacon and my stepdad made scrambled eggs. Everything came out really delicious (well, Brendan burned the toast a little bit... he's not used to cooking on electric stoves), and we had a really nice breakfast together.
For gifts, my mom got Brendan a whetstone (which he had asked for) and my stepdad gave us both money. And then... turns out my mom also got me a switch! I wasn't expecting that at all and thought we would just be a one-switch household. Now that I've had it for a few months, though, it's been really nice to have my own and to be able to play a greater variety of games with my friends and Brendan from a distance.
Normally we'd all gather at my younger aunt's house for Christmas with all immediate family and close family friends, but this year there was some drama stemming from some (ahem, political) issues at Thanksgiving that led to my aunt refusing to do any Christmas activities.
Fortunately, my other aunt's wife was having her brother and his girlfriend over along with some other friends from town, so they decided to invite Brendan and me, as well as my family, over as well. Then my sister and my mom had a misunderstanding and her boyfriend ended up coming as well. Like that, Christmas grew, but it turned into a really nice event, for the most part. Brendan and I donned our most festive Christmas sweaters (year number two!!!), and everyone was very pleased to see him.
The only downside: my aunts had two new cats, and Brendan was already starting to have problems from sitting in the house with our cats before we left for dinner. Turns out cats are the only thing that triggers his asthma these days, but man, do they trigger it. He ended up spending half the party outside trying to breathe. I felt so, so bad for him and totally helpless. In my family, everyone has various allergies and asthma... except for me. Why? No idea. But I have no expertise in any of those fields, and it was a good thing my family has both, because they were very helpful. My mom actually got Brendan his very own inhaler since he didn't have one or use one regularly, and she helped him deal with his reaction while he was at dinner.
That said, he was an absolute trooper and tried very hard to make it through dinner and conversation to spend time with me and my family. He is an absolute treasure, but I don't want him to die. As a result of his severe reaction, we decided it would be best to go back to my apartment instead of staying at my parents' for another night, much to everyone's disappointment. We kind of rushed out of the house when we got home and I felt really bad, both for him and for my parents since they like having us around. He really needed to breathe, though, and I wasn't going to force him to stay in an environment that was basically trying to murder him.
So, home we went.
In between Christmas and New Year's we mostly just spent some quality time together. We had some friends over one day to play some board games, which was really nice since I have basically only had people over once before, and it was fun to kind of play host and hostess for everyone. We made a lot of margaritas and took everyone out to the local diner for dinner.
Brendan made several AMAZING loaves of bread during this time, and we made sure to share it with our friends when we went to their place for NYE.
