Back for now, and closing the distance issues

Lady Death started a blog post Back for now, and closing the distance issues
May 7, 2012, 10:36 PM
Back for now, and closing the distance issues

Hey guys.

Unfortunately for you, I am back.

I am currently on summer vacation and back at my parents' house.

Now, my mother keeps telling me about what plans she has for me and my brother(who has graduated from college years ago).

"Oh, it would be a great idea for you two to get a masters degree and set up your own tutorial center! And you can be the manager."

She keeps telling me this over and over. On the outside, I say "Okay..." but on the inside, I am yelling at her, "NO! How am I going to meet up with my boyfriend now?"

Sure, we do agree on an intellectual level, but it irritates me that there's no room for my OWN personal plans!

Another thing is that my boyfriend(long distance) keeps asking me when we're closing the distance and that I should tell my parents.

That's just it; I can't.
My mom will NEVER accept anyone from the Internet, not unless they were her relatives or colleagues.

Another thing is that my mom wants me to finish college first, which I am currently focusing on. I intend to study harder this school year.
But she wants me to take up a masters degree, like I mentioned earlier!

When will I have time to make way for my personal affairs?

(No. Don't just tell me "Go ahead, tell them! What have you to lose?" I won't have that. It's not going to be easy for someone like me. Also, you'd be rushing be if you did. I absolutely hate being rushed.)
Face it you guys. I'm from a completely different culture(a completely different world even!) from what you grew up with.
(Where I live, online relationships are seen as taboo. My mom thinks strangers online are all rapists, scammers, pedophiles, etc.)

IDK what to do with this now.
(Maybe I should talk to my dad, but he's away on some sort of field work.)
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2 comments
- #1
  
  iakai commented
  
  May 7, 2012, 11:54 PM
  
  Editing a comment
  
  Hi Lady Death, I understand, if I were in your shoes I would *never* tell my parents. The best plan is to let them know after you can survive independently. (i.e. after you graduate, find a job and are able to sustain) Given the current circumstances, your mom will probably ban your communication links with your SO if she finds out. I actually know people who has parents who have never talked to them again after they married someone the parents didn't approve of. I would hate for that to happen to anyone
  
  Unfortunately the reality is unless you have saved up quite a bit of money, you probably can't close the distance (sorry...I know, this is hard to hear). It won't be easy at all to find a decent job in the US, not to mention getting a visa in the first place... :[
  
  As for talking to your dad, I think it might be good to tell your dad what your mom has suggested, and maybe let him know that this isn't what you want (without divulging too much?) and see what he says.
  Although, my understanding is that it's really hard to find a job in the Philippines right now as well, would you have considered a master's degree if your mom wasn't the one pushing you? If getting a master's degree would allow you to save up quicker, maybe it would be worth it.
  
  Anyway, these are just my two cents, I just hope it's some use to you...
  
  Oh one more thing, is it possible to go on an exchange program to the US?
- #2
  
  Lady Death commented
  
  May 8, 2012, 12:23 AM
  
  Editing a comment
  
  Originally posted by iakai;bt17837
  
  Hi Lady Death, I understand, if I were in your shoes I would *never* tell my parents. The best plan is to let them know after you can survive independently. (i.e. after you graduate, find a job and are able to sustain) Given the current circumstances, your mom will probably ban your communication links with your SO if she finds out. I actually know people who has parents who have never talked to them again after they married someone the parents didn't approve of. I would hate for that to happen to anyone
  
  Unfortunately the reality is unless you have saved up quite a bit of money, you probably can't close the distance (sorry...I know, this is hard to hear). It won't be easy at all to find a decent job in the US, not to mention getting a visa in the first place... :[
  
  As for talking to your dad, I think it might be good to tell your dad what your mom has suggested, and maybe let him know that this isn't what you want (without divulging too much?) and see what he says.
  Although, my understanding is that it's really hard to find a job in the Philippines right now as well, would you have considered a master's degree if your mom wasn't the one pushing you? If getting a master's degree would allow you to save up quicker, maybe it would be worth it.
  
  Anyway, these are just my two cents, I just hope it's some use to you...
  
  Oh one more thing, is it possible to go on an exchange program to the US?
  
  I don't mind studying more and working for 2 years, but I'm just afraid of not being able to follow through with closing the distance with him.
  
  As for the exchange program...
  if it were one that allows me to go to the US, mom would only let me stay with relatives(and they live NOWHERE near my SO's state.)
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