He told me that if I'll ever leave him, he will put himself out of his misery.
We've had a quarrel recently, but I'm not giving out any details.
Whenever I get mad at him, I just log out of the IM and give him a 10-minute silent treatment.
But every time I get upset, he seems to always blame it on himself.
And then I feel like everything is my fault.
idk...
I can't leave him, or else he offs himself. I asked him...what if I suddenly died? Wouldn't you be able to be strong and carry on?
He told me he's not as strong as I am.
I really can't leave him, but I'm mostly scared of myself, because I have a pretty short temper(which have improved slowly over time).
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Apparently, I hold the line to his life.
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Apparently, I hold the line to his life.
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#3snow_girl commentedMay 15, 2012, 09:01 AMEditing a commentPeople use that excuse all the time if threatened with a break up they threaten with killing themselves. Most of the time it is all talk, it also isn't worth saying if you don't want to because of their threats. He holds his own lifeline, NOT you.
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#4Haley53 commentedMay 15, 2012, 09:34 AMEditing a commentI agree with snow_girl. I also want to add that it's actually a red flag for emotional manipulation, so is constantly making himself to the victim and deflecting the guilt onto you. Whether or not he actually means to, that is emotionally abusing you, and it's serving its purpose, as you can see from the guilt. While I don't agree with giving the 10-minute silent treatment (my SO has a bad habit of signing out on me/anyone when he needs his time, whereas I tend to find it respectful to say "I need space" or even "I don't feel like talking right now" before leaving), I also don't agree with his behaviour or with the fact he's making you feel guilty, so that none of the issues on your end get solved, and the fact he's putting you in charge of something that's not yours to be in charge of. If he didn't kill himself before, I highly doubt he'd kill himself now, and I am very much guessing that the line was used before. Usually there's a reason people are dumped so soon. I know that you love him. Simply be aware of the fact that you don't hold his lifeline, he likely would not follow through on what he's saying if you did at one point leave, and the fact that he's victimising himself and manipulating you, which can be a problematic pattern (then again, I know some people who do it terribly who are now with people they mesh with). Might be something to consider working on.
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#5Moon commentedMay 15, 2012, 11:46 AMEditing a commentMy ex-husband used to pull the same crap on me, sadly he's still alive and kicking. He's not going to off himself, he's using that to control you, and obviously it's working. Don't let anyone do that to you, it's not right and not healthy. You are responsible only for your own actions, not those of others.
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