Love can be so perfectly inconvenient.

I met him in a bar. After turning 21 and realizing that many of my friends were over their bar hopping stages, my guy friend invited me to tag along with his friends to Trivia Thursday at a local bar. As I smiled and waved at the all-male group and sat down with them, I could never have suspected that they’d become my best friends over the next few months and the love of my life was sitting beside me.

He was staring at me. I could tell because that feeling of eyes on you raises nervous hairs at the back of your neck. My eyes turned to meet my table neighbor and he introduced himself as “Judsen”.

“What are you drinking?” he asked, trying to strike up a conversation but still staring at me oddly.

“Gin and tonic. Want to try it?” During college, contracting mono was the least of my fears.

He took a sip and nodded in appreciation and then offered me his Jack and Coke. That was the end of our pleasant conversation for the rest of the night. He continued to stare at me and I texted the good friend who brought me to the bar who was sitting beside me- ‘What’s with this guy? Does he have a girlfriend?’ My friend replied ‘Yeah he’s seeing someone. Maybe he just thinks you’re cute.’ I wrote Judsen off as an asshole immediately at that comment. (Little did I know that my friend was mistaken and that Judsen was not in a relationship at the time).

For the rest of the semester I would attend Trivia Thursday only if the “creepy guy” didn’t come. My guy friend kept insisting that Judsen was very nice and to give him a chance, but after handling my fair share of cheaters there was no chance of that.

After five months of summer and avoiding the creepy Judsen, I went to Trivia Thursday one last time before heading off to England for four months. Judsen was there and the only open seat was next to him. My friend looked at me pleadingly to behave, so I struck up a conversation with the guy. We talked about our majors (Accounting and Bio Engineering), and what we liked to do (reading and sports), it was like there was nothing in common between us. And then I noticed his shirt said “Prep” in my rival high school’s colors.

“Did you go to Prep high school?” I asked, curiously.
“Yeah in E___, why do you know someone from there?”
“I’m from E___! I went to M___ high school.”

After that we couldn’t shut up about the boring city we lived in and how we’ve lived only a mile away from one another but never knew it because he attended private school. The group of guys invited me back to their place and we all smoked cigars and drank beers on the porch (yes I’m that kind of fun girl). Judsen gave me a few of his beers and helped me light my cigar. We talked and talked and then I went to go sleep at my friend’s.
On Friday the next day was my going away party. We all partied at the bar for a little while and went to McDonald’s to wrap up the evening. All my friends waited for me downstairs in the McDonald’s dining room while I finished ordering. I felt someone staring at me and lo and behold Judsen was standing behind me in line with two girls on either side of him flirting. But he was just staring at me.

I went to go fill up my drink at the same time he filled his, after he shrugged the girls away from him. “Do you want to come join me and my friends downstairs?” I invited him. “Sure, if it’s okay with you.” “Of course it’s okay with me! There’s a bunch of people here and no one will mind.”

Judsen sat next to me in my huge group of friends, sneaking all of my French fries throughout the night. We exchanged numbers. He found out I was leaving for England in a few days, and so we suggested that maybe during Christmas vacation we meet up.

That was it. No spark, no huge shift in the universe’s alignment; just McDonalds’ French fries and an exchanging of numbers.

I’d love to say that Judsen and I fell madly in love over those few months in England while I was gone, but that would be too far from the truth. Instead there was a handsome French guy named Fabien who occupied my dreams day and night for several months.

Around Thanksgiving when I realized that when I got back around Christmas break the city of E____ would be really boring compared to Europe, I sent Judsen a Facebook message. It basically said, if you’re bored over break give me a call and maybe we’ll smoke some cigars. Very un-romantic. He sent me one back that was free from spelling and grammatical errors (something none of my other boyfriends could manage) saying that he looked forward to it. The fact that he used proper English piqued my interest.

A week before Christmas, a close friend died and I couldn’t attend his funeral or console my best friend, the departed’s sister. So, I promised her that as soon as I got back, I would drive seven hours to be with her. I arrived in the United States on December 27 at 8p.m. Judsen had known about my arrival time but we hadn’t made any plans. I lost my phone somewhere in my hurried packing so I couldn’t contact him to make plans. Knowing that I wouldn’t be able to see him till school started, I decided to Facebook message him and ask for a rain check. He IMed me back saying that he could hang out at 9p.m.

--Side Note—
What I didn’t know was that Judsen was hanging out with his best friend at the time I messaged him. He had tried to get a hold of me all day and then finally gave up on me and made other plans. When I sent him that message, his best friend saw it and “Dude, you got to go hang out with her.”, so Judsen followed his advice.
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That night we walked through the woods of our town in the falling snow, smoking cigars, and talking about the past few months. It was nice. He took me to a bar I had never been and we ordered beers and burgers. It ended up being a date even though neither of us intended for it to be one.

He asked me to drive him back to school for the spring semester and I agreed. It was the fastest four hour drive ever, both of us had so many things to talk about and started realizing we did have common interests. But, I didn’t want to be in a relationship.

Through all of this, I had been falling for the guy who had introduced me to Judsen in the first place. In my grand plan, I was going to get close to this other guy by hanging out with Judsen. Little did I know that the plan would backfire on me!

Judsen made me dinner a few days later, thanking me for the ride. It was delicious. Blackened sugar chicken and green beans, mmmm. We decided to watch movies on his bed. After waiting to be kissed throughout two movies, finally he dove in for the kill during the third one. He was an awful kisser.

Though the date seemed great, I still wasn’t sure if I was interested but we kept seeing each other.

Slowly, I realized that he was warming up to me too and the more relaxed he became, the more fun. He was actually a good kisser, a great cook, and very sweet despite being a stereotypical jock. Judsen also was very intelligent; he was going to school to become a doctor and had an almost perfect GPA. He was just so perfect in my eyes.

I fell in love with him at the end of February and I remember the exact moment it happened. He was lying in bed after having guzzled 19 drinks in a beer competition. He was feeling really sick and hungover but he turned over to me and started singing to me the rock song that was playing in his roommate’s room. Judsen took hold of my rib cage and started playing me like a guitar, pretending each of my ribs were strings. It was the cutest thing ever and took my breath away.

We proclaimed our love sometime in April when we couldn’t keep it to ourselves any longer. I was the first person he’s ever said it to, and he taught me that my first love was nothing compared to what I feel now. Nothing compares to it in my life.

It became more and more obvious that our long distance relationship would start sooner than we thought when I received a job offer that started June 14, a month after graduation. There was no other choice but to take the plunge into an LDR, I can’t give up something so precious. Our last month together was spent on the beach, just being happy and making memories.

On June 10th, I entered my LDR after 5.5 months of being in close proximity to my love. I’m scared that we won’t make it through this period and that I will lose the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I tried long distance before, but didn’t feel the same amount of love I feel now.

What worries me the most is that we’re in two different places in our life. I am starting my career and settling into a home, while he will be starting medical school and won’t have a job that pays a stable income until nine years from now. He’s trying to attend medical school near me, but his parents aren’t supportive of our relationship simply because Judsen’s brother was just cheated on by his long distance girlfriend. They wouldn’t even let him help move me into my new house.

It’s going to be rough, but 6 hours apart is not as rough as some of the other LDRs on here. I hope that eventually his family and my roommates (promiscuous partiers) will become supportive. I think having a strong support system to rely on will be extremely helpful.

Here I am, 10 days into my LDR, 354 more to go, and 18 more till I see him next.


Hi everyone, I’m Callie and I’m in an LDR!