So we agreed to have the final goodbye conversation on Sunday. We both have those days off and it will be easier for the both of us to not have to deal with work for two days. I think he will probably do it tomorrow night after work actually and then we have the whole of Sunday and Monday to grieve. Not that we’re not grieving now. We are grieving. I’m not looking forward to this and the worst part is I will have no one to turn to after. No one to talk with about it. My friends are too involved in their own lives to be dealing with my drama. I’ll hope to have a box of tissues ready to wipe away every tear. I’m scared. So sad and scared. I miss my Googly so freaking much. So freaking much. I hate this. I hate it. This forced civility because we are co workers. This fakeness. Fake everything. That we’re okay. That things are fine when they aren’t fine. They aren’t. I’ve tried everything though. Nothing seems to change the outcome so I will have to accept it. At least this time the end won’t be finished over Skype chat/text like it was started, but over a phone call. I asked him to please not dump me over text. I deserve more than that. He agreed so it’s going to be in a few days. The last time I ever hear his voice. The voice that soothes my troubled soul is going to tell me goodbye for good.