I CAN'T WAIT! Ahhh! <3 I love my boyfriend so much! This entry isn't going to be about the upcoming closing the distance and such...I was reading a thread before and it made me think. It was the "What are the positives of an LDR?" thread. I started thinking about my LDR a lot and I realized I wouldn't trade any minute of it. So, I'd like to talk about why that is, and what I've learned from being in an LDR.Let's start from the beginning, shall we? That's usually the best place to start. =P When Anthony and I decided to pursue a long distance relationship (which was our only option), we just jumped right in without even thinking at all about it. I think that was the best option for us. Before Anthony asked me out, I'd never had a boyfriend before, so being in a brand new relationship, and a first relationship is scary in itself, but a LONG DISTANCE first relationship was uber scary to me. I was very ignorant going into it, and assumed long distance relationships always ended in disaster, because that's how the media portrayed them. Well, my entire perspective changed once I began living it.
Anthony and I started the distance on September 1st, 2010, which was 14 days after we'd became a couple. The week after he left, I was completely lost without him. All my friends had gone off to school, so I was left with NO ONE at all. I got so sick the week he left...my body had gone into survival mode, so I had almost no appetite, my stomach was a mess, I could not stop crying and I had no desire to do anything or see anyone. I just wanted Anthony back. I lost between 5 and 10 pounds in 1 week...and I don't even weigh 100 pounds to begin with, so that was awful! I never told him about that, and I don't know if I will ever. We were constantly texting each other in the beginning...he had a weekend long orientation, and whenever he wasn't doing something orientation related, we were texting. Basically, we became each other's rocks. Once school actually started, we started to feel a little better about it all, and we started realizing it wasn't so bad. Our first real test was a weekend in October, where he went camping with the members of his floor and there was no Internet or cell service up in the mountains, so we spent our first weekend with no communication. We got by, and that Saturday, I was the happiest I'd been since he left for school. That weekend reassured me we'd be okay, and we could get through it, even if we didn't talk every day. But, after the trip, we continued to text and/or IM daily. I got worried if we didn't talk, because I have a friend who I tended to listen to, even if he had ZERO LDR experience at all...he told us we HAD to talk every single day, or we'd be doomed to fail. I took this to heart and would panic if Anthony didn't text me or if we didn't get to IM on a given day. It was awful....finally I realized that my friend was wrong and that we COULD get by just fine. And we are. We tend to talk almost solely using text now, but we also comment on FB stuff. We get to talk on the phone once or twice a month, and we almost never get to cam. That's just how we handle our communication and it works for us.
If I had the option to change it all and have us never experience the LDR, I wouldn't change a thing. "Wait a second, huh? You're crazy, Jen!" That's what most people would probably say if I told them this. But, I've learned so much about life, and about myself through this LDR that I wouldn't have learned if I wasn't experiencing this. Both Anthony and I have grown up so much as well through it. Our communication has grown in ways I can't even begin to explain, and our trust is very strong. I've become much more independent, and learned it is more than okay to have a life aside from my SO...in fact, it is strongly encouraged! Now, I see people who I'm friends with IRL interacting on FB with their CD SO's and wow...just wow. They are apart for not even a full day, and all I see is "OMG I miss you soooooo much baby and I love you! Can't believe we've spent 4 hours apart! <33333"
It sickens me. I mean, Anthony and I rarely tell each other we miss each other, because it's painful to hear the other say that and there's nothing either of us can do to make it better. We'll occasionally say it, but we're not that mushy on FB. If we do say anything really mushy, its via text. Also, to those CD "OMG miss you" couples, they couldn't handle this like we do...they don't get it at all. I have ZERO sympathy for them when I see those posts....not an OUNCE! I know I sound extremely cruel and like a bitch, but I really can't feel sorry for them for not seeing each other for a few hours, when Anthony and I go months at a time without seeing each other. I get jealous at times, but this distance is making me stronger. I'm stronger than I'd ever imagined I could be! Early on, I used to cry over the distance almost nightly, but since I'd say the new year rolled around, I barely cry over it. Granted, some nights, I have weak moments and I feel like I need him there with me, but I know how to calm myself down now. I've gotten to experience a lot of things I wouldn't have without the distance. For example, I took my first road trip to visit my boyfriend in March. I mean, I drove with my dad and his fiance following behind me, but it was still a 360 mile, 7 hour long road trip. I'm 18 years old...technically an adult, but how many 18 year olds plan out their OWN road trip, EVERY detail planned by themselves, and actually act on it? Not many, I'd say. I arranged to stay with my boyfriend in his dorm, which I would never have been able to do if we were CD. We got to spend our first weekend together. I'm a more creative person now, from sending care packages and love letters...making each one unique and special for him. To know I've made his day, makes my day. I've grown to be a more independent young woman, who doesn't need to have her boyfriend constantly at her side in order to be happy. I continued to live my own life, branch out in college and meet friends. Plus, the bonuses of not having to shave my legs every few days really is great, too lol. But I'd say the biggest thing I've learned thus far is to cherish every moment spent with my boyfriend. Far too many times do I hear of CD couples taking their SO for granted, and expecting all of these things from them. The moment of joy when I finally get to see my boyfriend when he comes home on a break from school is just the best feeling in the world....pure euphoria. To hold him again in my arms, to be able to spend time with him, hold his hand in public, to smell him again...nothing beats it and nothing will compare to that. As we close the distance (though it is temporary), I know I will never ever take Anthony for granted, and I will continue to love and cherish him. Nothing will change except the mileage. Good communication doesn't change once the distance is closed, if anything, it'll continue to get stronger and will only help us in the long run. So, I honestly wouldn't change any of this. These experiences were truly amazing and a blessing in disguise. I am obviously looking so forward to this time as a CD couple, but we will always carry the LD experiences with us. It'll only help us grow as a couple and will help us when we become LD again in September.