Anthony and I have gotten much closer emotionally these past few weeks. Our conversations have changed in a good way; they're getting much deeper and more meaningful. We've always been able to talk forever about anything, but recently we've both opened up about so much more than ever before.

Last week, we had our first issue in our 12 years of knowing each other. I worked until midnight and then went to go hang out with Anthony and our friends John and Chris. Basically, it was a bro-out except I was there, which I felt out of place being there. Somehow they got on the topic of bashing this girl Kelly....that's Anthony's ex! We went to school with her and she's a year younger than us. Anthony and Kelly "dated" for about 4 months when Anthony and I were in 10th grade. Even then, I hated her guts because she was always an attention whore and was a drama queen. Their relationship was a disaster, but they kept rambling on about her for what seemed like an eternity. We were all in the car while this conversation was going on, so I was sitting in the passenger seat as Anthony drove, awkwardly sitting silently staring out the window. I was getting very upset and jealous, but I refused to say a word. I think Anthony picked up on it after about 10 or 15 minutes that I was upset or uncomfortable, then John did too. Later on, Anthony dropped everyone else off at their houses, and we hung out at my house. I brought up the conversation and I told him how I felt, and that I was jealous. I told him I don't like to show that side of me and I felt terrible for saying anything. Anthony felt awful because I was upset. He told me that he was desperate in 10th grade and thought he HAD to have a girlfriend so he dated Kelly. He told me I'm 5 million times better than her if not more than that lol. So cute! Later on, he went home, and we texted about it for about another hour or so. He apologized so many times for the whole thing, and he even said I was a stronger person for telling him how I felt. He said he'd never ever do anything to hurt me because I'm the best person he's ever met and he loves me so much for the discussions we have and for the times we just hang out together. It turned into a sweet conversation! =] I'm so glad we could talk through this in a calm, respectful way without raising our voices at all.

Also, we had a phone conversation a few weeks ago, and it was extremely emotional. We talked for almost 2 hours. Anthony opened up to me about his parents divorce!!! He said to me that a lot of what he told me, he'd never told anyone. His parents divorced when he was 5, so about 14 years ago; that means he kept all of that bottled up for 14 YEARS. I was so glad he felt comfortable enough to open up to me and tell me that. It made me cry when we were on the phone because I never knew all the pain he felt from it and how tough it was for him. My parents split up when I was 11, which was almost 8 years ago. I tried to tell Anthony about it, but I just couldn't. I told him that, and I apologized because I just couldn't do it...I think I've only really told 1 person about it, and it hurt so much to do that. I said to him "I hope one day I feel comfortable enough to tell you about it." He told me that he'll be there to listen whenever I'm ready to tell him. I think the reason why I can't talk about it is because it hurts me too much to think about it. I never seeked out help to talk to anyone, I just bottled up the feelings and pushed it all into the back of my head so I didn't have to feel the emotional pain. We told each other we're each other's best friend. <3

We also discussed him going back to school. It hit me recently that he's going back pretty soon and I began to cry thinking about it. I told him how I was feeling and he said he knows it sucks. He misses school a lot, but he told me he's going to miss me so much more. We know we can get through it because we've been through the distance and we know it'll be fine. Anthony told me the other night that he's going to make more of an effort to communicate while up at school. He said last year he was very busy and he felt terrible because he couldn't make that much time for me. He saw his friend from school, and how he was on Skype with his girlfriend a lot. Anthony told me he was going to try to get on Skype more often so we can talk through that. Our conversations were almost solely based upon text when he was in Rochester. We texted or IMed for communication; phone calls happened once, MAYBE twice a month if we were lucky. We cammed once, on Valentine's Day. Sometimes we'd get so busy that we'd go days without talking, and it would kill me inside. I also told him I'm going to visit more. I visited him once and he came home for breaks every few months so that's all we ever saw of each other. It was tough, but we survived. This time around, things will be different, and we're learning from our mistakes. I'm already planning a trip to visit him this fall, maybe in late September to early October. We'll be fine once we get back into the swing of distance again, though we're not looking forward to it one bit.

It really set in the other night that we've been together almost a year already. Anthony told me he can't even believe it, but we both agreed it feels like we've been dating so much longer. We established it was because we'd known each other for 12 years! We couldn't believe we've known each other for 2/3 of our lives! Anthony told me that we'll be together for many many more years which will one day make the first 6 years of our lives (when we didn't know each other) seem like nothing! So cute!!!!

I can't believe how much we've grown as a couple these past 2 months close distance. Especially these past few weeks. I'm so glad we've had this summer to spend together, and we have 1 more month together before we become LD again. Our relationship is better than ever and I love this guy with every ounce of my heart and soul. Anthony is the best boyfriend I could ever ask for and I'm so blessed he's mine. <3333