* EXASPERATED SIGH* I'm having a bad day mentally/emotionally. I just feel completely worthless, like I don't matter at all. My confidence is plummeting and I don't like who I am. I don't think I'm beautiful at all and I feel like I need to change something about my appearance to make myself feel better, but I don't know what to change. I look in the mirror, horrified at what I am looking at, and I ask myself what Anthony could possibly see in me that attracted him to me and made him fall in love with me. I even feel like I'm a bad girlfriend, like Anthony deserves so much better than me. I've even managed to convince myself that Anthony does not love me. He told me we could probably talk on the phone last night, but then he texted me asking if he could call tomorrow (today) because he was too tired to talk last night. I said it was fine, though inside I was really upset. I rarely ask for anything in our relationship and I wanted more than anything to hear his voice last night, but we couldn't talk. Today, I decided to try and boost my confidence. I'm forcing myself to wear make up, I'm going to try and fix my hair nicely, maybe change the part, and dress a little nicer than I normally do. I'm not even going anywhere today. It's just something I think I should do to try and boost my morale, my spirits and confidence by trying to make myself feel beautiful. I may have to take a picture of myself if it comes out good enough to post on Facebook. I feel so bad because I've been so down lately because of school, and I've been complaining to Anthony about it a lot. I don't want to be so negative around him, or in general. I still think I need to seek out a psychiatrist on top of my psychologist to feel better, so I should probably do that. I hope our phone call tonight really helps me to feel a little better, and reassure me that Anthony loves me and that we're okay.