I don't know if this is hormones related or anxiety/depression related, but I feel terribly insecure. I doubt it's PMS because since going on birth control a few months back, I haven't experienced any more PMS. Anthony comes home tomorrow, he will be arriving tomorrow night!!! This should be a happy time, right? I'm extremely excited to see him, of course. But, my insecurity is stressing me out to the max. I am also nervous to see him again. I am worried he won't think of me the same and will not love me as much. I'm always a little scared like this before he comes home, and it's always the same. When I see him in the airport, or at the train station, or at my front door, or even in front of his dorm building, the anxiety and irrational fears disappear as soon as I see him smile and wave as we approach one another. When we finally touch, give each other a huge hug and kiss, when I hear him say "I missed you", all of the fear goes away. I can see in his eyes the love he has for me and how much his love for me actually has grown since we last saw one another. I know it'll be just the same this time around, but until then, I will have this fear looming in my head, ruining my day. In a way, I think it is a drive for me to look extra good to him when he does see me. I always make myself look a little nicer and try and stand up a little taller with my chin held high to radiate confidence. Men are driven crazy by confidence. But why can't I think like that now? There's been so many times I've cried today just because of my insecurity. Granted, some of the times I cried it was tears of happiness knowing I'll be back in his arms tomorrow. *sigh* Sorry if this makes no sense at all.