Never in my life did I ever feel so close to losing the love of my life, until tonight. Thank God that was just a misunderstanding. Let me explain. Tonight, we were chatting on Google+ and he wasn't being himself- he didn't seem present in the conversation and seemed a little bit out of it. I asked him if he was okay, and he replied that he was fine but just had a lot on his mind. Normally, we'd leave it at that, but tonight I was curious and asked him what was going on. He told me that he was really stressed out and overwhelmed by school. He has a lot to do as far as schoolwork, he has registration for classes tomorrow, and he has other projects to do for his floor. He told me that between all of that, trying to stay sane and just daily living (eating, sleeping, washing, etc.) he is just overwhelmed. He said that he talks to me to stay sane. I misinterpreted this as that being the only reason he's with me, that he doesn't care to be with me. My heart immediately felt like it was splitting in two, I began crying, hyperventilating and threw up. I began panicking and I told Anthony what I was feeling. I told him I think I misinterpreted it and if he could clarify. He told me that was one of the many reasons he loves me, and that I am wonderful. He said he doesn't think he'd have made it as far in college so far as he has without me. He even told me he wishes he had the patience to make a list of the reasons he loves me like I made for him for our 1 year anniversary. This is the man I love and this is one reason I love him. We were on what felt like to me, the verge of ending things...only because my dumbass mind made up another story and I misinterpreted his words, and now I feel closer to him than ever. He did tell me when I told him that when I saw the message that I felt like my heart was splitting in two, that he was on the verge of tears reading that message. Anthony does not cry easily. In the 13 years we've known each other, I've never seen him cry. Not once. I also brought up my concerns about how the stress is affecting him. I really think he needs to talk to a therapist about it, but he expressed no interest in it. I tried so hard to convey it to him in such a caring, supportive, loving way, but by being blunt a the same time, but he just doesn't want it. He used to go to therapy for years when his parents split up, so he feels that for something like this he doesn't need it. He's just stubborn. I hope that sleeping on it will help him realize. But, we had some very sweet little moments tonight in that conversation and I feel like it was necessary to sort out what needed to be sorted and air out what needed to be aired. It was extremely productive and I am actually relieved we had the conversation we did, despite my freak out moment. I cannot wait to be there in 4 days! *Looks at time* Yep, 4 days. It's about 2am here now, so I can say that. We both need this visit, and badly. I told him that I'll be there in 4 days to help make it all better and take his mind off of things for a little while. Haha. Anyway, I'd say on that note it's time to catch some Zzzzz's. Good night everyone! So happy to be in love and that he totally understands me. <3