Since I arrived home on Sunday night, I've heard from Anthony a total of two times. I texted him on Sunday night after I got off the plane to let him know I arrived home safely, and we talked for a few minutes. Then, I texted him on Wednesday night. I hadn't heard from him since our conversation on Sunday and I decided I'd try and make him chase me a little and not text him for a few days. But, he never did, so I texted him on Wednesday. My mom's boss had died the night before and it hit me hard because I knew him pretty well, he was only 56 years old and I saw him on Monday when I went to visit my mom for lunch. I told him how upset I was about the loss and he was as sympathetic as one can be from 360 miles away. He eventually would take awhile to respond, and then he told me he was going to go to sleep...this was around 10:30 or so and he never goes to bed early. But, he wasn't feeling well, he had a terrible cold and felt like crap. He took Nyquill and went to bed early. I can only assume he's doing a little better. I haven't heard from him since then. It's so hard to not hear from him and I feel a little neglected. I've been battling some form of depression (still undiagnosed) for 6 months now. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist in 12 days, so I hope to get a diagnosis and begin treatment for it then. Not hearing from him yesterday really put me over the edge. Last night, I got super depressed and I just felt like I couldn't pull myself out of the hole. I think I really need to text Anthony and tell him this is bothering me because his not getting in touch with me caused me to feel so upset yesterday that I just felt like I couldn't handle everything anymore. It hurts so much to not hear from him, especially after a wonderful weekend together. I think not talking to me is a coping mechanism for him, so I guess that makes it easier for him, but it makes it harder for me. I just really miss him already. He's coming home in 20 days, but he still hasn't booked his tickets home. I know it's hard for him because he doesn't have a lot of money right now, but he promised me 5 separate times that he will come home. I guess I just need to put my trust in him that he will book the trip home. I'm also going to send him a "we need to talk..." text in a bit. Then, he'll know things aren't okay and that we really need to have this discussion now. Anyway, I just needed to rant a little bit.