I think this entry will basically be me just whining, so if you're not interested in reading another rant/venting session, I'd strongly advise you skip over this one.

Things between Anthony and myself are finally starting to get a little better. We aren't fighting as much as we were a few weeks ago. I'm working on giving him more space and "me time" as well as trying to stop reading into text messages and overanalyzing them. That's been a big problem for me. We generally fight about the same thing. It's pretty much about the amount of time we see each other. Sometimes I feel I don't get to see him enough, when he feels we see each other almost too much, and that in turn makes me appear clingy, and I take it as him saying he doesn't want to see me. He tells me that's not true and sees me just to shut me up. Cycle continues. We're finally doing a lot better with this. It's only been two days since we've last seen each other and so far, I'm doing fine with it. I only sent him a good morning text yesterday and that was it. He worked for most of the day and had a ton of homework to do when he got home. So, I didn't bother him. I also had my own schoolwork to do, so I kept busy with that.

We're both taking summer classes and working. I haven't started work, but I have training tomorrow. It's going to be my fourth summer there and hopefully my last...I love to hate my job. I got transferred to a different area of the park, so I am looking forward to my new job assignment! It should be pretty laid back and I'll be able to study and do homework there. =] I can't believe I agreed to work full time while taking this class; my original plan was to take the class and work weekends until the class ends in July. But, my supervisor begged me to work full time because they are extremely short-staffed. I couldn't say no, plus I'll be bringing in more money. Anthony is taking a class at my university's sister school, which is 45 minutes away from our town and he commutes twice a week by train. I take a class 4 days a week at my university, which is like 15 minutes from home. Anthony works five days a week and is almost always exhausted after he gets out. My class has only been going on for 3 days and I am totally out of energy already. It is exhausting! I am not used to waking up at 7:30am; I had woken up at 11am for the longest time, so getting up early has been a pain and then sitting through 4 hours of physics is a drag. We are covering what should be covered in 15 weeks, in the span of 5 weeks! It's going to be insane! We've done 4 chapters in 3 days already!!! Only 15 more days until I'm done with it. Not soon enough though. This means between his class, his work schedule, my work schedule and my class, my Anthony and I probably won't get to see each other too much over this next month. I know we can do it; we would spend up to 3 months apart when we were LD. I guess in a way it's like that all over again. Once the classes end, our schedules should free up a little bit and I think we'll see each other more. I think this will be good for us and give us a chance to miss each other.

We've been in a bit of a rut lately, sexually. We only began being sexual with one another in February, so it hasn't been a long time. We lost our virginities to each other in March. My sexual desire is quite high (probably stemming from the fact that it was almost nonexistant from September to February because of my depression) and I think it's just pent up. Anthony's desire has decreased and we rarely get intimate anymore. We only had sex 3 times this month. It's making me worried that we will never get back to that good place where we were more in sync with one another and would do it more frequently. Is this normal? Does this happen with most couples at some point? Will it ever get better? I'm afraid we'll be celibate for the rest of our lives! I can't do that! D: I just miss the intimate connection that comes from it, making out and just the closeness of our bodies so close to one another, skin to skin. You can't get that from a solo session. I obviously will wait for him and when he feels up to it again. I really hope it gets better. It makes me feel bad about myself when he's rejected my initiations...like I feel like I'm not beautiful enough, not good enough and like he doesn't love me anymore. I know none of that is really true, but I guess I'm just insecure. Anyway, I guess I've rambled enough. Anthony's eating some lunch and going to take a nap because he was up all night doing homework, so I guess I won't see him again today, but I'm doing okay. We'll get through it! We always do.