I am on edge. Not knowing what he's going to do for school in the fall is driving me crazy! I have these moments where it just hits me like a brick wall that in 10 days, he may be 360 miles away again. Or he may not be. Ahhhh! I really am freaking out. I know it's not in my control at all, but it doesn't stop me from thinking about it. I called my boyfriend before to see if he was working (because I wanted him to come over so we could talk about it). But, when I was on the phone, I chickened out. He asked me if I was okay and I lied and said yes. I refused to let him know that I wasn't okay, but he could tell. So, he let it go and told me I can always talk to him about anything. I'm just scared I guess. Scared of how he will feel, scared of him leaving again. We've been CD now for 5 months, and I've gotten so used to it. I am terrified to go back to LD. I can't remember how to be and LD girlfriend. I don't feel like I am strong enough. I am just scared. I want him here! Is that too much to ask? It's as simple as just applying to the school at home and not even waiting to hear back from the school he got kicked out of. Why would they even consider taking him back if they told him he couldn't take classes there for an entire year because his GPA was shitty? My SO is far too obtuse and stubborn to even see that. He just wants to go back to Rochester. I am so torn. Even the fact that he gave me a promise ring promising to love me forever (for our anniversary) doesn't help the anxiety I feel about the distance. But, I want to be with him and only him, so I guess if we have to be LD again, then somehow I will be able to get through it like I did for the 1.5 years prior.