For those of you who don't already know this, tomorrow Anthony and I are going back to long distance. He got accepted into a different major at his school and is going back to school tomorrow. So far, I think I have been handling it all pretty well. I feel like I can handle it, seeing as we've spent 18 months long distance throughout the course of the past 2 years. As of tomorrow, I will officially own my car too. Previously I had been leasing it for 2 years, and the lease is up so I am buying it. This means I will no longer have a mileage limit to adhere to, thus making me more likely to want to drive to Rochester. I will be able to visit more frequently then! I won't always have to rely on plane travel and looking for the cheapest prices there, because in reality, it will be cheaper to drive. My car gets amazing gas mileage, so that's not a problem. It's just a matter of having the will to drive 360 miles (7 hours). I've made the trip before and I enjoy road trips so it shouldn't be a problem. I think I am going to try to visit him once a month. The time in between visits then won't be so bad because I've realized that 4 weeks isn't a long time at all and goes pretty quickly, especially when keeping busy. I have set some goals for myself during this time.

First: I want to get a 4.0 GPA this semester in college
Second: I have a big test I have to take in order to be accepted into the ultrasound program, so I am going to study hard for that and try to do the best I can on the test the first time so I don't have to take it again and I can begin the rest of the admissions process from there.
Third: Work on my own social life. I want to go spend more time with my friends and try to keep my mind off the distance. I know Anthony will spend time with his friends up there, so I can't sit around waiting for him.

All and all, I think the distance will be good for us. We've spent almost 6 months close distance and I think we need this to focus on ourselves as individuals a little more. We will definitely make time for one another, but we need to focus on having our own lives outside of each other too. I've noticed lately I've become a bit clingy because I knew that him going back to Rochester was a realistic possibility so I wanted to spend as much time with him as possible before that happened. But, I think he may be feeling a little smothered. I feel terrible about it now and wish I could just take a chill pill.

Although I seem positive about the distance this time around, I am terrified. I really am. I've done this before, so I know what to expect. It's going to be a long road ahead, filled with many lonely nights, Skype dates once a week and conflicting schedules. But, I know in my mind that this is the best thing for us because Anthony is now back on the right path towards preparing our future. This school is the best program for him and he will graduate and get a good job in a few years, thus being able to provide for us as a couple and allowing us to start our lives together and eventually have a family. I'm just scared because lately, he's been distancing himself from me a bit and I am afraid he won't miss me at all when he leaves. I don't know why I can't just take the promise he made to me when he gave me a promise ring, and believe everything he promised. He just recently gave me that promise ring for our 2 year anniversary. It is a beautiful Claddagh ring. Just what I wanted. He promised that no matter what happens, whether near or far, through good or bad, he will love me forever. Those words meant so much to me and are just what I needed, but yet I am still insecure. I am certain he means them. Tonight, we say goodbye. I hope to be able to visit around September 22nd or so, which is less than a month away! Hopefully, that works. We will get through the distance once again! To quote the Grateful Dead: "We will get by. We will get by. We will get by. We will survive."