I feel like I'm going to tear my hair out. I am seriously losing it. My period is going to make me insane!!! Mentally and emotionally, it's creating so much insecurity. I am fine throughout the rest of the month but once my period starts, I get extremely self-conscious and I feel so insecure about my relationship. I start to get all like "Anthony hates me!!!" even if he doesn't do anything or say anything. So, I feel this way right now and it's driving me mad. I am trying so hard to stay positive because he should be home in about 12 days. I should be thrilled. I am excited, but I am also scared shitless. I am so nervous that he'll end it when he gets home. I cried to him last month about my insecurities on the phone and I asked him if he still wanted to be with me. He said "I think so." I didn't really hear him at first, so I said "what?" and he said "Yes." Why do I think he hates me? =[ I am so anxious and it's scary! I just want to be secure like I am during the rest of the month. *sigh* I am such a baby. Why does anyone even put up with me? My stepmom has been badmouthing Anthony lately and telling me that I am pretty much an idiot for staying with him. I love him for who he is. Also, physically I want to die whenever I get my period. The pain is too much for me to handle. I take prescription pain medication because the cramps are that bad. Even so, I can barely get out of bed. I'm 21 years old. I can't do this for another 30 years. I contemplate a hysterectomy every month! I have been feeling like this for about a year now and doctors haven't found anything wrong. I guess I need to go for more testing because I am showing symptoms of endometriosis. I just want a diagnosis so I can not be afraid of my period and just get back to my life. Between that and the emotional symptoms, I feel like shit. Sorry, I just needed to vent. I am just so scared to lose Anthony.