I just have to let it out! My SO is Costa Rican and so his 1st language is Spanish (duh). Whenever we go out anywhere "Hispanic" themed (like a salsa club, Mexican restaurant, burrito place, etc) he always starts to talk to people in Spanish right away. Yeah that's what bothers me. And I know it shouldn't. Here are the reasons it shouldn't:
1. I speak Spanish, I know what he's saying, it's not like I'm being left out
2. He misses his country a lot and I'm sure he likes speaking with other natives
3. He's just being friendly
But all the same, it bothers me. I guess it bothers me because I feel like he's trying to make everyone know that he's not American. Like he wants to be separated from us. One of the reasons I love the USA so much is because everyone is so different and you can't tell who was born here and who wasn't. I guess I feel like he doesn't want to try to live my culture. Which sounds silly, but that's how I feel. I know whenever I travel to different areas I try my best to fit in with the locals. Of course I don't lose who I am or where I came from, but that's part of the experience. I mean when I was traveling Spain I would meet other gringos and we would talk in Spanish because we were in Spain!
When I lived in Costa Rica I tried my damndest to try to fit in. I dyed my hair brown, wore clothes similar to the ticos... I just wanted to be accepted. And no matter what I did I was always picked out because I'm tallish and white. With my SO it's opposite. He automatically fits in and just tries to stick out.
Also he never speaks Spanish with me because he says he wants to make his English better while he's here. But as soon as he sees anyone who he thinks is Hispanic he'll start speaking with them!
I don't think it's anything important enough to bring up with him. It will just hurt his feelings so I'll keep my mouth shut. Just wanted to express my feelings somewhere.
But I can understand how you're feeling too, so feel free to vent here. It probably would be hard to explain it to him in a way that wouldn't be confusing or hurtful. Could you try taking part and speaking Spanish when he speaks Spanish in those contexts as well? It might be out of your element, but it might help you to feel more comfortable with it, too.