(don't you wish you had my problems? to nap while someone cleans my apartment, or not to nap?
)Well I got back from my visit to Germany last Thursday. I had a really great time. My SO had a hard time. He got really depressed and told me how life sucked without me. I didn't like that at all. One of the reasons I like my SO so much is because he's independent, can take care of himself, and is a generally happy person. I don't want his happiness to rely on me being physically present in his life or not. So we emailed about it briefly, basically I said that life doesn't suck when we are apart, it's just better when we are together. I'm a big fan of "be okay with you before you invite someone else in your life" so this was kind of a big deal for me. He's better now, and I hope it's not just because I'm back home.
On the other hand, I am so ridiculously in love with that man. And I'll admit, that when I was on vacation anytime I ate anything or drank anything or went anywhere, I imagined what my SO would do if we were with me. I thought of his "taste orgasm" face he does when he eats something really tasty or drinks a really good beer. I wished he were with me so I could have better appreciated seeing the Rhine and Danube Rivers. I know how badly he wanted to see the courtroom where the Nuremberg trials were held. And I almost felt bad I was on vacation while he was working overtime and taking care of the dog he pretends to hate back home. I sort of hated building memories that would only be stories to him. We're kind of in this for the long haul and I want to start doing things together. Seeing new places, trying new foods, meeting new people. I want to do all those things, but I want to do it with him.
I really want to go to Italy. But during this trip I realized I never wanted to go unless it was with him. It makes me feel silly. I remember 3 years ago when I never wanted a boyfriend to "tie me down". And now that's totally what has happened. Luckily, he's willing to go to places too, he just can't because of work. Yeah we do manage to do lots of little weekend trips to the beaches and mountains and such. But you know... anyways
Man I'm rambling.
Cleaning lady is still here. I hope she'll be done in an hour. And then I can take a quick little nap before I have to pick up my SO from work.
Can I just talk again about how much I love my SO?
I mean, I'm not the type of person to have, whatchacallthem.. "feelings". I'm mostly a sarcastic, crass, rude person who think people get way too emotional over very silly things. Seriously people, let it go, you'll be happier! I don't get depression. I don't get jealousy. I don't get why people let other people bother them so much. But anyways, I don't think I've ever truly told anyone how I actually feel about my SO. It's not easy for me to say, even to him.
It's not even easy for me to admit to myself.
I was always like "relationships ... pssshhh", "marriage ... pssshhh", "kids ... *scream*"
But I am so head over heels for this guy. I mean, he's really the greatest ever. He would do (and has done) ANYTHING for me. Seriously, anything. He says he doesn't want kids, but I know if I decided I wanted them, he'd be up for it. He takes care of me even when I'm not sick. He caters to me every day. He tries to surprise me with little things. He makes every day a special day. And he expects nothing in return.I think a lot about how lucky I am to have him. I'm just a so-so girlfriend, but he is the most wonderful, amazing, sexy, caring, honest, genuine, loving boyfriend in the entire world.
And I'm really excited to marry him.
Can I get an "awwwwwwwwwwww"
(seriously though, this is hard for me to admit!
)
@ snow_girl: i almost choked on my juice!