I'm mad at work. There's so much bullshit that goes on so constantly and it makes me crazy. This was supposed to be my last year at this school. I wasn't supposed to have to stay longer. That's why I didn't accept that better paying job earlier in the year. But because the visa is taking way longer than expected, I need a job for next year. And since I need a job I can't say what I want to say.
So I'm also mad for being a punk. Man I want to curse out my director. Call her out on all her shit. Tell her no one in the school respects her, not even the students. But I can't. I have to keep it in and take everything sitting down while smiling and nodding. Because I need a job next year. Because the visa is taking too long.
I'm also mad at the visa shit. WHAT THE FUCKING HELL. Fiance visas are being approved in the amount of time it takes you to say "USCIS is the worst most inept government agency that exists". We got married and decided to do the spouse visa because it was only supposed to take about 2 more months than the fiance visa (about 8-10 months total), cost less, and you can work as soon as you enter. Well the way things look now it'll take double the amount of time. But no one even knows! No one can tell me how much longer we'll have to wait. Anytime you call USCIS they just spew you contradicting bullshit. I've written to my congressman who was of no help. Just wrote to my two senators last week. Who will also probably be of no help. But I hate not having control of my life.
So I'm angry at USCIS and my job because I can't control my life. My whole life anytime I want to do something, I do it. But now because of visa shit which I can't control, I have to suck up to a bitch ass boss so I can keep my job.
I'm also mad at religion. This whole "we don't celebrate Halloween" at the school bullshit is such fucking bullshit! First of all, what I wanted to do only remotely had anything to do with Halloween. Second of all, it was for FUN and almost all the kids and lots of the teachers were really excited. Finally- so it's okay for the school to celebrate mother's day, father's day, Easter, Day of the Virgin, and Christmas? But anything that even resembles Halloween is off limits? Why is that? Because the nutjob religious people get their panties in a bunch? Well guess what, I've spent my entire damn life smiling and nodding when people say they'll pray for me, or God bless you, or something else I don't believe in. And I don't do shit. Why? Because if the majority of people are happy, and they mean no harm, then there's no fucking reason to cause a ruckus. Why do people suck so fucking much? I'm honestly ||this close to telling my director I refuse to go to the Christmas Concert since they'll sing Jesus songs and since I'm an atheist I don't want to be around it. And I want to say all this to my director but I can't..
BECAUSE THE VISA IS TAKING FOREVER AND I NEED TO SIT AROUND LIKE A PUNK ASS BITCH BECAUSE I NEED A FUCKING JOB AT THIS FUCKING SCHOOL FOR ANOTHER YEAR
****sigh*************
But I am feeling better. Feeling more relaxed. I just keep thinking that "summer" break is only a month away. I can last that long. And by the time we go back to school again in February I'll be refreshed. And I really do like working with these kids. I really enjoy teaching. I've been doing a really good job of just avoiding and ignoring my director up until this week. If I can just keep my head low and stay away from that bitch, this might just be manageable. (I'll also need a couple more bottles of wine)
wooo saaa.
Also sort of planning an impromptu trip to Scotland! Haven't 100% decided yet. But I feel like I do need some sort of vacation to look forward to. We'll see.
Feel better llamas
Scotland is great. I spent some time aupairing in Edinburgh some years ago, it's a beautiful and historical city. Maybe take a train trip to Highlands as well, it's so beautiful there (plus you get to see a lot of guys wearing kilts and fancy blue knee socks
But man that blows.
When people say "God bless you" I'm always like "Which one?". I know they mean well and stuff, but it's just arrogant to assume people believe the same shit you do. Totally save one of those bottles of wine and swig it secretly before/during the concert.
Anyway I hope ranting helped. Feeling trapped sucks hairy ones.