Last blog I was still all happy. Remember how I say when I'm home alone so much I start to get depressed and homesick and such? Well it's finally hit.

It started yesterday when I was unable to walk my dog properly. There were so many loose dogs around that would come running up to us that I couldn't take her anywhere. And it made me think "if this was the USA, I wouldn't have that fucking problem!!" So I was irritated, but I was still good.

Then I went to go pick up my SO from work. He then had to drop me off at the apartment and go to his English class he started. He asked me to make dinner so it'd be ready when he got home. And it brought back this flood of memories of what was half of last year. My SO was working so damn hard and studying so damn much to get out of college. That was his priority. And I was okay with that. He needed to finish school.

When he finally finished school I thought "yes! Finally he'll have time to do things with me!" And then yesterday when he dropped me off, it felt like I was going through the exact same shit as last year.

I mean how much longer do I have to put up with him working 10 hour days, 6 days a week (sometimes 7!) and going to night school twice a week? Goddamit I want my husband home with me! Is that too much to ask? I knew that was what I was signing up for coming down here, but I also thought this fucking visa wouldn't take so long and we'd BE GONE BY NOW.

It seems like all my troubles are all visa connected. I think they are. I can barely go on VJ and I had to remove myself from a facebook group because people who filed after me keep getting approved. And I can't be happy for them. I'm resentful. Sorry I'm not sorry about that. Someone who applied in August got approved. AUGUST. I can't... I just can't even...

And even with all my hatred towards the visa, I thought "whatever, we're together, we have jobs, we'll be fine" But then another small thing made me want to leave this godforsaken country.

Our neighbors. Not our in-house neighbors (we live in a house that was split into 4 apartments) our next-door neighbors. They've been doing construction for weeks. It is so loud and is all day long. The noise is incredible and it makes me crazy. But what can I do? Nothing. Then today I see they put up a whole bunch of support structures. They're going to build the house into their entire backyard! Blocking our view of the sky! I'm so pissed! One of the things I love about this country is how sunny it is in the morning. The sun is full blast right now- at 7am. The sky is a beautiful blue. In the early morning you can catch the sunrise, in the evenings the sunset. It's beautiful. And they're covering it up! I think they're making the house THREE stories tall. THREE.

And now all my plants are going to die without any sun. I'll no longer be able to sit and enjoy the sun outside while reading a book. And my dog, and I know this seems silly, won't have sun to sit in. That's where she sits all day long. She LOVES sleeping in the sun and I feel bad because now we'll just be in darkness. With a view of a concrete wall. And I won't even be able to leave my dog outside until they're done working. I just watched a guy solder something and all the sparks fell into our patio. Nice.

So I'm getting all bummed out. I'm getting all pissed with the whole visa shit, again. God I just want to move away. I want to go home where people don't live in prisons. Where people have yards. Where you can actually play in those yards and know someone's not going to come up and rob you. Where neighbors won't do bullshit things like block out all your sun without asking you first, because they want to remain on cordial terms.

I don't know where I'm going to put my plants now...