How many of you are fans of HONY (Humans of New York) like I am? I love HONY, and I look forward to their posts every day. If you follow HONY, you'll know that there has been a series on a school in the rough part of Brooklyn. Because of the publicity, this school has raised over A MILLION DOLLARS to help fund scholarships, educational trips, and summer programs for the school. A really freaking amazing thing.
And it has hit me all in the feels.
I work at a low SES (socioeconomic status) school. Unless you've been there, you really have no idea what it's like. I got a new kid the other day and when I asked which school he transferred from he told me "locked up".
This child had spent one year in juvenile detention for drugs and "fighting" (probably gang related). And he shows up in my classroom, yesterday, more than half the way through the year. And I'm expected to reach this child, teach this child, and have him pass a state test at the end of the year.I had a child come in with her face all bruised and a big black eye. Turns out her mom put her in a headlock and beat the shit out of her. I have a child who is so poor, she wears the same clothes every.single.day. I have a child whose parents care so little about him that he is nearly legally blind, and still doesn't have glasses. I have multiple children who read at a first grade reading level. I also have kids who can't speak English. I have multiple children who have already been "long term suspended" (meaning sent to the "step-before-jail" school), and now I have a jailbird. Just to name a few of the lovely students from my first class.
Hell yeah, welcome to my life. Remember- this is eighth grade.
And I fucking love working with these ass holes. I love it. And I'm good at it. But it is ridiculously draining. When I have good days, I have freaking GREAT days. And my bad days are SHIT. Reading the stories of the teachers and the principle from this school profiled on HONY has been so amazing. Because that's my life. They interviewed one teacher who said "today was a bad day and I'm tired" OMG I know exactly what you're talking about! And there's one part where they quoted the principle saying she wanted to give up. That's what I was ready to do.
Do you know how much easier my life would be if I worked at an affluent school? I know how much easier it would be because I did it for three years in CR. And I bet I could get a job somewhere "better". I know I could. I was even planning to. I was so fucking ready to give up and move somewhere richer. And then HONY came along and reminded me why I do this. Because when you get that one kid- it's euphoric.
The principle didn't know this student felt that way about her, but he did. I've had my principle tell me that one student said the only reason they even come to school is to go to my class. I've gotten small little notes from kids telling me how much they appreciate me. I got my big ass hole kid to do work in class. I got a kid telling me how he doesn't want to be suspended anymore because he doesn't want to miss my class. And holy shit it's amazing to hear. And it makes all the walk-outs, the bickering, the fighting, the cursing, the disrespect worth it.
The other problem is- my hometown has always had a bad rep. We've been the ugly step-sister of the two neighboring cities for as long as I can remember. A few days back they came out with a list of the best school districts in NC. Those neighboring cities- #1 & #4. My district? #63 (out of 100). Well then I look at the percent population that qualifies for free/reduced lunch. #1 district- 19%, my district- 60%. So is my district "worse", or is it fucking poorer? Is that district really any better? Does it have better schools? Does it have better teachers? Or does it have a richer population who could succeed ANYWHERE you put them?
So I'm staying. (though I don't plan to renew at my current school, I'd love to move to a high school in my district that focuses on sciences and medicine) And I'll burn out again. And I'll complain again. And I'll question why the fuck I'm putting myself through this again and again and again. And at one point I'll quit and take the easy way. I'll deserve the easy way. But not yet. I'm still idealistic enough to think I'm making a difference. I'm still young enough to have the energy to put up with these ass holes. I'm still naive enough to believe in education.
Like Ms. Lopez said- "You'd be great teachers anywhere. But these kids need you."
