I have a confession for you guys- for the last year or so I have started thinking about having kids. UGH. What? I never wanted them. But maybe "they" are right in that some people change their minds. Maybe my biological clock is ticking. Maybe I always wanted them and just denied it. Whatever it is, I've decided that having one wouldn't be too bad.
I hid this from my SO for months because he always talks about how he's glad I don't want kids. Finally, about a month ago, I let him know how I've been feeling. I told him that I'm still not sure I want one, and I certainly don't want one now, but that I have been thinking about it. He's still a resounding "no". The fun thing about that is there's simply no compromise when it comes to kids.
After talking to some of my friends I think I know why he's such a big "no". He had a pretty shitty childhood and has pretty crappy parents. I had a great childhood and have successful parents. So we see childhood as two completely different things. He says "why would you want to bring a kid into this shitty world?" and I say "the world isn't shitty! It's awesome!"
So anyways. I haven't brought it up again. I'm hoping after a few months we can bring it up again. I'm hoping we can at least move to being able to have a conversation about it. I know he probably won't change his mind, and I'm okay with that. I'd 100 times over rather be with him and kidless than be with some sperm donor. I know I'd be happy without kids, but I think it'd be fun to have one. I'm nearly 29 so I got plenty of years of baby making in me. We'll see how it goes!
Have a great weekend
He has changed his mind about other big things namely- getting married and moving to the USA. But kids is a much bigger commitment. I know I would love a kidless life- traveling, boozing, dogs. But a kid might be fun too!
If we decided to have kids he would definitely need a new position in his company. No one lasts long as a field engineer, they're all young and without families. But he wants to move on anyways. He's getting older (36 this year!) and he simply can't keep doing hard manual labor. So the job wouldn't be something holding him back as much as other things.