Sure... we'll go with that. Well, I'm frustrated because I want to be more than his girlfriend. I want to be his fiancee, well, okay, I want to be his wife. I want to be able to post things about my fiance/husband on facebook. I want to plan my wedding. People younger than I am are planning their weddings. Or are married. (And/or have kids...) A friend from high school turned 26 this year... she has a 3 yr old and a 17 month old. Which means, (hooray simple math...) she had her first baby at 23. Pretty sure they got married right after they graduated college at 22. That's what I wanted.
My "timeline" in my head said that I would get married within a year after college graduation. It's now been about 14 months, and I'm not even engaged. I know that my whining does me absolutely no good, nor does it even really help me feel better.
There's always that one person (okay, sometimes it's more than one) that you think you'll do "x" before they will, and then when it happens to them first it's just... not fair. You know what I mean? Well, that's been happening to me for about 6 months now. I have lost track of how many people have gotten engaged/married in the past 6 months (or will be getting engaged/married in the next couple of months). The worst part is that some of these people I thought were my friends aren't inviting me to their weddings. So I just get to creep on their pictures after they get back from their honeymoons. It just... sucks. No, I don't think it would be any better if I was invited to their weddings. But I guess maybe I would be happier for them if I could see how happy they are, you know? Now I feel like a horrible person. Don't get me wrong, I AM happy for them. I'm just irrationally frustrated at my situation. More than anything I want to start my life with my man... but we're stuck, and I don't feel like we're going anywhere.
And I know that marriage won't solve any problems/issues we may have or make our relationship better, but it WILL mean that we'll be living together, haha. (and... doing married couple things.) The few months we were both in Georgia together we lived in the same apartment... but an outsider probably would have thought we were just roommates. (he slept in the 2nd bedroom. Always.) The only time we've ever slept in the same bed is for naps. Not over night. So, I guess I'm looking forward to the little things the most. Like sleeping in the same bed. (He knows how I feel about all of this, btw.)
Anyway, thanks again.
The friends thing is sad. I had/have this mate who was also in a LDR, She's from my home town but found a boy in Tennessee. Changed everything for him, religion not being the least of all, but anyway, she got married when I was still living in Canada. I could have flown down for her wedding, I was all set to... but I just never got an invite, and the next thing I know there's photos on my facebook wall of them being married
But anyway, I invited her to my wedding, because they are living here now, and she cancelled the DAY BEFORE saying that she'd double booked herself and couldn't get out of it. I was so bummed (not to mention annoyed at having paid for their meals that would now go uneaten
Anyway, tangent there. Sorry, guess I'm feeling sociable today. I'll stop rambling now lol.
Arg! I'm sorry she did that to you, I can't even imagine how frustrated you were.
PS totally okay with you being sociable. after all, it is why LFAD exists