I love Nix, I really do. The distance was bearable, but for some reason with each day that passes it just gets harder to handle.
I told him last night that I know he cares about me but sometimes I don't feel like I'm even on his top 50 priority list. He said he's sorry I feel like that and he'll work on it, but he's just trying to stay positive about our situation. I admitted that I'm a lot more pessimistic than he is (about everything), so it's harder for me. He said that unless I'm willing to change my situation (right now my job requires me to move every year) or let him live off of me, we're at an impasse. I know he wouldn't be happy if we moved in together and he just followed me to each job.
So we're stuck. He's living at home, working two part-time jobs. I'm living 500+ miles away and working 60+ hour weeks. All I want to do is sit down with him and have a long talk about what we're going to do and how/when. But we can't because of our schedules.
Today one of the managers said to me that I can talk/vent about whatever I need to to him. Great, I really appreciate the offer, but how do I tell him that I'm considering leaving? How do I tell this company that I do really enjoy that I'm stressed out because of this LDR they've put me in?
I'm tired of the distance, and there's only two solutions to this problem. I can't even begin to consider one of the options, so the only option I have is to close the distance. Why does closing the distance have to be so hard?? Why can't an opportunity just present itself to me and make our lives so much easier? I know, I'm asking way too much and nothing is that easy. I know that I have to work for what I truly want... Maybe it's time I reconsider my career. (No, I don't mean giving up my career for my SO, just changing what I want to be doing or what I am doing.)
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lyonsgirl started a blog post Too many thoughts, not enough brain.Too many thoughts, not enough brain.
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#1Moon commentedEditing a commentAny job that requires you to move every year is only good for single people who want to remain that way, your job will never work in the long run in the context of your relationship (or most relationships, really). You're young though and good jobs are hard to come by, so I don't think you should quit right away, it'll hurt your resume. If I were you, I'd stick with it for at least a year (preferably two), so you have gainful experience on the resume and don't look like a job-hopper. Even if you alter your field, you'll still need something for a future employer to reference, so plan on leaving, sure, just not right away. Good luck.
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#2lyonsgirl commentedEditing a commentThanks for the advice, Moon.
I'll hit the 2 year mark with the company in March, so I'm not as concerned with the "job-hopper" issue. I'm not going to leave until I find something to go to-it doesn't make any sense without something waiting for me. I'm looking now to keep my options open and to see what's available to me at the moment. Right now, there's not a lot, so I can't pretend we'll be closing the distance any time soon anyway...
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