Nix and I are getting married just over 9 months from now. It's like, 9 months and like, a week and a half, or something. We're going through pre-marital counseling with the church we're getting married in (it's required, and they have this pretty nice set-up going) and honestly, it's starting to freak me out.
Don't get me wrong. I am beyond excited to be marrying my best friend, but... omg I'm getting married. OMG I'm stuck with him. I mean, no. Not stuck. I don't know what I mean. I'm excited. I'm terrified. I'm nervous.
Am I making the right decision? God. If I feel this way 9 months away from our wedding, I'm going to be a complete mess closer to the day. I feel like I don't know him. How well can you really know someone when you've spent the last year apart? Let's count the days:
Jan 2012: 6 days. I moved on the morning of the 7th.
Feb: just about 24 hours.
March: 2 day weekend for his birthday.
April: 0 days
May: 2 1/2ish days for a friend's wedding.
June: 2 days after my company's conference
July: 0 days
August: 3 days (I think... I was moving here and drove from TX to VA via IN)
September: 0 days
October: 4 days (and the proposal)
November: 4 1/2 days
December: 0 days
So, based on that estimate, in 2012 we spent a total of about 25 days together. 25 of 366 days. That's less than 7% of the year. Is it reasonable that I'm starting to get anxious about this? Is it reasonable that I'm feeling anxiety? I mean... 25 days isn't even a full month. It's barely over 3 weeks together. Sure, we talk on a regular basis and Skype, but... I'm still feeling anxious about this.
I don't like it. I want to be happy and confident and... okay. I don't feel like I am. I haven't told Nix this yet because we haven't had the chance to talk since I started feeling like this, and now I think I have bronchitis so talking hurts, which really puts a damper on conversations. Plus all I want to do is sleep.... (I went to bed at 7:30pm last night. Which would be great, except I still only got 10 hours of sleep because work is dumb).
Maybe I just really need to talk to Nix about this.
I'm glad I can vent here.
I definitely think you should talk this over with him but I just wanted to say that I can see where you're coming from. I'm not a big help though because I've never been in the situation!
Talk it over with the Mr, as Ellen suggested. TALK TALK TALK
Maybe it's a combo of the sickness and the more pregnancy announcements on fb and my friends who are getting married talking about having a baby within a year of their wedding date... I'm completely not ready to have kids yet. Not at all. The idea of me being a mom next year freaks me out. (Yet another thing to discuss with Nix....) We're going to try & Skype tonight, so hopefully we can talk through some things.