I feel like if I tell them I want to see Nix for my birthday and so I can't see them in April too, they'll get all moody and pull the "well we're your family" and "you haven't seen us in longer" cards. Which, I get it. I really do. I miss them too. But this is my future family I want to see, it's not like I'm "blowing them off" for just anyone. And I thought they were going to do a bridal shower in August! (Even still, I'd have to fly&take days off for it) I can't afford two trips in one month. Not financially, and not with work either.
Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh. This would be so much easier if I had a job in Indiana!!!!
This is the kind of problem that never really goes away, especially if either set of families lives a distance away. Decide what's fair now for events (like every other year/holiday/whatever), talk it over with the fiance, agree what works best for the two of you, then inform both families. Prepare to compromise, get guilt tripped, argue, cry, etc., but it's better to set expectations and make sure everyone understands. Realize that as time goes by and people move around, and babies are born, those expectations are definitely fluid and subject to changing around though.
Most of us go through this, even when everybody's local, it's a huge challenge, but you'll figure it out
ETA: It doesn't help that Nix is pretty sure my family hates him. And there are days when I feel like they don't support our upcoming marriage. The wedding they're all for. Not the marriage. (They have suggested multiple times that maybe it would be best if we held off on getting married and if we didn't end up getting married it would be okay. Thanks, family. That's totally helping.)