Chatting with some people on Doctor Who WIT...and constantly hoping to see Eebs sign into GTalk because I would rather be talking to him.... I've been getting antsy lately, so I went and checked chat logs to see when we last were in touch. It's been 11 days, and our last conversation was pretty short because he was busy. Not really unusual, as far as GTalk goes, but since I don't get on Dragonmount anymore, I can't send him a PM or anything. And when I officially stopped logging onto DM, it seemed he was making more of an effort to get on GTalk, because that's now our only form of communication.

I feel like I'm going through withdrawals.

It's kind of funny, the little things that remind you of how awesome that special person is. I put on Facebook that I was going through withdrawals, and that I think I'm being silly...and I found myself saying I was being "rediculous," which is how HE spells it.... And all of a sudden, I had this overwhelming urge to make a list of all the quirky word things he does, and to use them.... Like saying "OJ juice," or "I mine as well do that..."

It was like I got hit with a wave of sentimentality, and I was not expecting it.

It was accompanied by the thought "How can there ever be anyone else? No one could compete with that."

I feel rather dramatic saying it, but...he's like an extension of my being. When we were younger, it was all romanticized, and I'd say he was a "mini me," because we seemed so much alike. There's been plenty of time to grow up and realize we're individuals...but in the process, it's like we've fused parts of ourselves together. In a way I can't quite put my finger on, I feel he's mine. He just...is. He's part of me. I don't own my hand, I don't feel like I have the right to tell my hand what to do, or to stay attached to me...it just is. Eebs isn't hardwired into my brain and soul, but...I feel he's mine in the sense that my hand is mine. He just is. My Eebs. My hand. My arm, my leg. Not ownership, not pride, just...fact.

I dunno. It just feels impossible for it to be anything else.