I'm still working through my emotions, 7 hours later. XD
I got to talk to Eebs today, which was exciting even though I had to go to work not too long after he got online. Among other things, he told me his last day of school is June 7th, and that he and his parents are leaving for PNG on June 8th, and I guess he's going to be there for 2 weeks. I knew he was going to PNG already, but I didn't know he was going to be in school right up till the trip. XD
And then, presumably in response to my suggestion that if we could work it out, he could come to the Cornerstone Festival with my brother and me the first week of July, he told me that he's considering moving out to Seattle this summer.
His brother lives in Seattle, and he invited Eebs to come live with him. I'm not sure exactly why; I didn't have the presence of mind to dig for details like I normally do (from a simple desire to know as much about everyone as I can so I can understand them better and care for them more), but he's thinking about it. He's the youngest of 4, so his parents will be dealing with empty-nest syndrome much sooner than anticipated if he does this. XD
But aside from that, I felt like someone had knocked all the wind out of me. And a lot of emotions went rolling through me, and like I said, I'm still trying to figure it all out. He lives in the same time zone as me, and a mere 4ish hours away. I always kind of took it for granted that when we met I'd be able to just drive up there to see him. I was even hoping to do it this summer, hence the Cornerstone Festival suggestion.
If he moves to Seattle, he'll be about 2000 miles away instead of 200, and two time zones behind. I can't make that kind of a trip, not for ages, probably. I mean...okay, maybe if I sat and looked at the details we could make something work for next summer, or something along those lines. I know, moving so far away wouldn't make it impossible for us to ever meet in person. But it would certainly put a stop to any idea of only slight inconvenience on the part of the traveler instead of it being a large-scale trip that would need a lot more planning.
Since he's my best friend, I did end up sending him a message (now that I'm home from work and the initial panic attack has long-since faded away, if not its residue), letting him know that regardless of my own feelings, if this is a good move for him to make, then I'm backing him on it and I won't hold a grudge or anything stupid like that. My feelings have nothing to do with this decision, realistically.
But...I don't really know what to think, so maybe I'm still kind of panicking. I honestly think he's going to say yes to his brother, but I just don't know all the details so I hope I'm just letting my emotions get the best of me. I'm sure there are plenty of reasons for him to say no, too. This would be such a major change for us, though, if he goes...we have never had to worry about time zone differences before, and while it wouldn't be anything new in general for me, I think with our lifestyles in particular, it would be tough to coordinate any time for communication. And then he'd also be adjusting to a big change himself, and...yeah, it scares me, I'll admit it.
Deep breathing.... I'll be all right. Whatever happens. Whatever he decides. The fate of the world does not hang upon this decision. XD