Actually, since I just spent hours on Tumblr and Pinterest looking at stuff in my fandoms, the most prominent thoughts and feelings I have right now are related to that. Mostly Sherlock love (yes, I'm obsessed), and some major love and nostalgia for Avatar: The Last Airbender. I have not watched that show in a while, but I've been keeping up with Avatar: The Legend of Korra, and I miss A:TLA. Really. Korra's okay. It has its moments. But it mostly just makes me realize how amazing A:TLA really is. I might have to go watch it while I knit the massive blanket I've started... (okay, it's not MASSIVE, but it is to me, since I haven't really knit anything on this scale before). I did the math, and I figured it would take me something like 102ish 4-hour knitting days to finish. 'O_O It kind of makes me want to learn continental knitting, since I do English right now and it seems like continental is a little faster. Maybe. I mean, less hand movement, so less travel time there, etc. Anyway, this isn't a knitting site. Y'all probably don't care about knitting methods (if you do, someone I follow on Pinterest posted this really cool article explaining a method for the long-tail casting on method that makes it so you never have to guesstimate how much yarn to use in the tail! At all!).
With Sherlock...like I said, I'm obsessed. I'm in love with Benedict Cumberbatch, too. ^.^ Gosh, why did I have to be born in America? Half of the TV shows I've seen so far that I truly love, not just like, are BBC shows. Sherlock and Doctor Who. And I'm going to start watching Merlin soon, too, and I have no doubt I'm gonna love that. XD A:TLA and Heroes are the only shows made by Americans that I love. XD And I've seen more of them than I have BBC shows.
Then again, maybe I'm fangirling so hard over British television BECAUSE I'm from America. So yeah. Dunno.
My young friend from the Doctor Who online game I play finally got out of school for the summer today, and she's a wreck. She had this teacher who was really nice to her, and always supported her and helped her see all her talents and potential instead of her flaws, and I guess for whatever reason she's not going to see him again till 8th grade in a yearish. She tends to live on the dramatic side of life, so she's going on and on about how much he meant to her and how her life is going to suck and she compares him to my Eebs....
Okay. She did acknowledge that she gets all emotional at the end of EVERY school year, and that she's being a little dramatic, but that she's kind of indulging her sadness to help move past it. I can understand that. Writing comes really naturally to her, so putting all these poetic thoughts out there about what he meant to her and whatnot is pretty normal, I'd say.
But it did kind of annoy me, because she keeps comparing him to my Eebs (she says "your Eebs," but sure, I'll call him "mine" in a general sense, cos he IS, dangit!
).... As she's 12 (barely) and obviously going through an emotional time, I've only been supportive and I've even been compiling a list for her of all my favorite songs to listen to when I need to get the sad out, but here are my feelings on this:Girl, no. He is your TEACHER. I believe that he means a lot to you. I get that it's not often you find someone willing to look past the label most people stick on you and willing to see who you really are, and appreciate it. I know you have low self-esteem, and having someone build you up had to have felt amazing. And I really can't say anything against someone who helped you get through your friend's suicide attempt.
But he is NOT to you what my Eebs is to me. When I have that desire to spend time with someone, it's always him, no matter how impossible it may be at times. When anything happens, I think of him. I want to tell him. Every little thing reminds me of him.
And we are connected. We have been through so much together--and I don't mean just individually, supporting each other, but I mean our relationship has been through so much. We drifted so far apart, had our fair share of disagreements and near-fights, but here we are...still us. Still bondeds.
If I had my way, I would have a hundred thousand pictures of us together. I would have done so many things with him in person by now, instead of only over the wonderful-yet-incomplete medium of the internet. Every day we would talk about anything and everything, and even if all we talked about was whether or not blue is better than green, or what the weather is like, that would be perfect.
You ask what I would do if I lost him for a year.... It would be so much different for me than it is for you right now. I couldn't answer that question entirely truthfully, because I didn't think it would help you if I went off on that. But if I lost him entirely, for a year, with no contact whatsoever and only my memories, that would mean that I wasn't worth the effort for him to contact me. He's already said if I go on a mission and can't talk to him via the internet for a year and a half, he'd be willing to write letters so we could keep in touch.
So if we had NO contact...that would mean something had gone horribly wrong. And that would mean that I probably wouldn't get him back. And that would be the most devastating thing to me...knowing that we had something so precious, so worth fighting for, and somehow one or both of us did something to destroy it.
He's part of my life. That's just how it is. Your teacher is important, and inspirational to you, and I know you're going to miss him during your 7th grade year. But you still have your best friends, the people you hang out with and do crazy things with and who you can't imagine life without because your identity is wrapped up in all the things you've shared with them.
THAT'S who my Eebs is. Without him, I am not me.
Anyway...I've been too tired today, and otherwise occupied, to actively think about how much I miss him...but boy, do I miss him. I kind of want to go sit and look at the picture of him when he was 11, catching snowflakes in his mouth, and let all the yearning rush through me. But I'm passing out right now, so I'm going to look at the picture for like 2 seconds and go to bed. XD