Today is the official day where things start to change and my anxiety (and abandonment issues) is gonna get put to the test. My GF starts her new job today and then school at the end of the week. Then it's gonna be busy from now on and by October our time together will be lessened drastically. We're going from her being at home all the time to her going to school full time and having a job. It's exciting because we are finally heading in the right direction and our path is getting clearer but I'm also scared of being alone. We've been soooo spoiled with her being at home a lot. Although it's nice to have her around all the time, its effects in the long run are not good. We've become way too needy of each other to the point where it has become a little unhealthy. So! Today is the day where we make a change and commit to it! Today is the first day of growth! A new stage in our lives! A GOOD one! I can do this. I have to. She needs me to be the girlfriend we both know I can be. The one that supports her and her path, knowing that in the end our goals will meet up. I promised her that I will work my ass off and I plan on keeping that promise.

Fear is normal right though?

Meanwhile, it brings me to my next topic! I need a damn hobby! lol I've been trying to think of one but I haven't been really lucky. My SO said drinking beer isn't a hobby! lol I'm not crafty or really sporty (Other than already going to the gym 4 times per week), so I feel like it doesn't leave me with too many options. But I will have to really put an effort in keeping busy and focused on the positives rather than dwell on my fears and worries. My girlfriend is working and going to school so that she can be with ME and no one else. She's doing it for her and for us. If that's not amazing then I don't know what is. And in return I need to show her that I'm able to be who she needs me to be and I need to be STRONG. I will be strong. I would be stupid not to be.

I think all of this will also be a good opportunity for me to get to know myself again and do things for ME rather than live for other people. I haven't quite loved myself lately and I tend to put other people's need before mine. So I have to take this time to make a change for myself. I think I deserve that.

My GF is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I would be crazy to mess that up and let my fears take over. She is NOT going anywhere. She tells me all the time! I just have to focus on that!

That's all for now. I sense more blogs coming in the near future. Hey! Maybe that'll be my hobby! hehe
-Mims