One thing that we did talk about was my sister and that when I told her about my self esteem and anxiety stuff, she made it about herself which really surprised me. He said that this probably comes from her own insecurities. That makes total sense. I think my sister kinda feels guilty for leaving me alone pretty much my whole childood and feels bad. But it's not about that for me anymore, it's about what I want in the NOW and my changes. The past is in the past.
Another thing he said that was really interesting is that my partner is my mirror and that I should really pay attention to what I reflect on her. If I feel like shit or I'm down on myself, it reflects on her and she feels that too. So I have to notice when this happens and work with it. And I've been noticing that more lately and stoping my unnecessary negative behaviour!
Meanwhile, the passed couple days have been big and positive tests for my anxiety revolving around my SO. I've mentioned before on the site that she and I would talk ALL THE TIME; although it was nice to have but it also had a very negative impact on things. I became very and unhealthyly attached to her and having her around. So when she couldnt be around it would cue my anxiety big time. BUT talking to my therapist and acknowledging my anxiety, as well as dealing with it has helpd me so much. Example: my girlfriend started working yesterday, which means no text or chat unless she's on break, which is only for 15 mins. So we went from constant to very little talk time. And guess what? I haven't lost my mind yet!
I feel quite proud of that. Yes I miss her like crazy but I know that, when I do talk to her, it'll be awesome and we'll have tons to talk about. And I know that she's not going anywhere!Choosing to go to therapy was one of the hardest decision I've ever had to make but it was one of the smartest. I'm very happy I went for it!
Thanks to all you guys who have been really positive and supportive! You guys/gals rock!
Wishing you the best!