We had been going through some stuff lately where because she's always busy we didn't talk much but when we were together...we still didn't. It was weird and very difficult. We would just sit there in silence and get frustrated. We had no idea what was going on in each other's lives, work or school. We didn't do our usual chit chat of silly stuff like we've always done. We would skype and say nothing...and I HATE that. Communication was almost nil.

We talked about why we were suddenly like that and neither of us could really determine why but we decided that we HAD to change it. We're making conscious efforts so find out about each other's days. We talk about random shit and it feels like us. I mean we used to talk almost 15 hours per day and we'd never run out of shit to talk about and suddenly we did. It had to change. So we did. That is much better so far. And I feel her making an effort and I hope she feels it from me too.

My SO's finals were last week therefore she was very busy, more than usual. And working full time. So, knowing this before hand we discussed it and said we would work really hard and staying focused and occupied...mostly me because I don't really have anything going on or a life. lol Well we did, and we did pretty darn great, for us. Even considering what happened at the end of the week...

My grandmother has been sick for about a year and a half now and this past Thursday she was moved from her home, where my fam was taking care of her to a hospice. I left work early Thurs, to go see her move and tell her I love her. She wasn't really awake and I don't she knows who I am anymore, but I needed to see her. Well she was in that hospice one day and passed away Friday. She has been surrounded by people for 24/7 for 1.5 years and she was left alone in the room to rest for an hour, while my fam went out to lunch, and she passed away. We are convinced she waited until she knew she was alone. She didn't want anyone there. That is SOOO my grandma. Independent and didn't want to put her kids through seeing her pass away. She's an amazing woman. I love her and miss her so much.

The days spent with my grandma and my fam were supposed to be my SO and I's " together days, after the busy week she had. But not ONCE did she make me feel bad about missing them. She pushed me to be with my family and supported me 100%. She was there when I was balling my eyes out and she even told me that she was coming up to see me this weekend no matter what and going to the funeral with me. We were supposed to spend the weekend at my cottage. But she didn't hesitate a second to say she was coming anyway. God I love her. I need her there.

Not sure if any of this post makes sense but bottom line is that I'm lucky. I have an amazing partner who loves me and pushes me. She gives me the drive that I need to fight and be tough. Yes it's damn hard sometimes but it's soooo worth it. I wouldn't have it any other way...