I really don't know what to do with my life... I love what I'm studying (Liberal Arts & Sciences, with a focus on religious studies in my major and a minor in psychology) but with just a BA in something as broad and random as this I can't really do much. So the big looking for masters programs began... I found the absolute perfect thing in London, psychology of religion, and decided I'd just fly there for the open evening because the tickets were pretty cheap.

Well, I just got back today and I really don't know how I feel about it. I was the only one my age, most other people were either in their 30s/40s and looking for a carreer change, or were retired and decided they'd pick up another masters program just because they feel like it. The program is so amazing but I just don't know how I feel about it now... I really didn't expect this and since courses are only two evenings a week I just wouldn't know what to do with my life in a new country away from both my family and my SO, not being allowed to work much as a foreigner and only having classmates in their 60s...

Apart from that, I generally started doubting whether I should do a masters at all. Under the 'future' header they all say that it's an excellent opportunity for continuing your research or enriching the experience of a job you already have. It almost sounds like you're not supposed to come there straight after a BA. I just want to DO something, like, in a practical way. I don't want to spend the rest of my life doing research, however interesting that may be, I want to help people. I think I'm going to start looking into spiritual care programs because I just want to work in a hospital or home for elderly people and guide whoever needs it. I don't want to do an expensive masters program and then not know what I can do with it (if I can do anything with it in the first place!) So I guess my trip has been an eye opener after all.

I'm missing my SO terribly and it really scares me to think about having to go without him for more than a year again after this last year of university is over. I can barely handle these three months now and I wish there was another way for me to get into the US! He needs to go back home because all the money he had saved up went into his studies, and he's not allowed to work anywhere in Europe. He's been talking about getting married, and however much I want to and see that happening along the way I just feel like 21 is way too young! But then again, it'd be silly to be together for another five years only because your age is more appropriate then. I wish I had the money to go study in the US...